-scale=1.0" : "width=1100"' name='viewport'/>scale=1.0,minimum Sidewalk Darlings: SHOPPING for red and black fashion

Thursday 16 February 2012

SHOPPING for red and black fashion


A candy floss pink shirt looks too feminine, Radcliffe surmises. PINK - This colour is definitely not for him. His sidewalk chums would argue that he's taking metro-sexuality too seriously. However, he disagrees that a real man should never where pink. Utter fatuity. On this occasion, however, he prefers a more dramatic colour.



A boy conceals himself in dressing room, then springs on girl as she enters, frightening the living daylights out of her.


SCREAMS




Radcliffe: (approaches shop assistant, HANA, with clothes in hand)

hi. I'm looking for size extra large, colour classic red, in this T shirt, but there is none on the shop-floor. Are there any at the back, please?



HANA:

I'm not sure. But I'll have a look for you. Just wait a moment please.



Radcliffe scans the shop floor.



CHARLES HELPS WHITNEY WITH HER SHOPPING


Whitney:

"Thanks for helping me, Charles, my girlfriends gives a headache when they shop with me. they're so unhelpful"


CHARLES:

"I't's no problem."


Whitney:

"If my bottom looks big in a pair of jeans, you must tell me though."


CHARLES:

"I.. I... I... I..promise." Where is the nearest toilet?




                                                        SINEAD AND DIONNE

DIONNE:

It's very important to ALWAYS have a black dresses.


SINEAD:

Why?


DIONNE:

Why? So many reasons. For instance, If you feel the need to feel or look thinner, then a black dress is your best bet.


SINEAD:

Well, I don't FEEL the need to FEEL or LOOK thinner


DIONNE:

I said 'SO MANY REASONS', didn't I? Anyway, if you want a simple black dresses, your best bet is H&M


SINEAD:

We are in H&M




Still no sign of  HANA  15 minutes later.  So Radcliffe  'helps' a beautiful girl decide on a pair of boots.


Radcliffe:

Those boots are made for you


thanks



Radcliffe:

You should get them


I'm thinking about it, thanks. Do you have them in any other colour?



HANA: (finally returns, interrupts)

I'm sorry but we have ran out of size extra large in that T shirt


Radcliffe:

Thanks. I'm looking for a nice pair of black jeans as well. Anything you could recommend?


HANA:

I'll have a look. Wait here please.




ONCE AGAIN,  HANA  TAKES AGES TO RETURN.   Radcliffe   SPOTS A RACK WITH SALES CLOTHES AND STARTS TO RUMMAGE IT.



Two middle aged women chat about one of their daughters who used to love sugar but weaned herself from it. Few minutes later, one of them went to the till with a blouse.


Woman1: That is too small for you

Woman2: I'm wearing lots of  T shirts and blouses because it is so cold today


I should'nt have said that


Till Operator: (burst into laughter) It's best YOU say it, not me


I better try it on. UGH!



FEW MINUTES LATER



Till Operator: Are you happy with it?

Yes, it fits.


WOMAN1:

I was wrong..... It's good to be wrong in this way



Radcliffe notices the girl heading to the till without the boots he reccommended.


Radcliffe: (conspiratorial whisper)

'You'll regret not taking those boots.'



I know, but I just can't have them today.


Radcliffe:

Oh. I don't blame you. I think they are too expensive also.



It's not that. I tend to stumble on the sidewalk when I wear stilettos, so I'm buying these flats instead.


Radcliffe: (enthuses)

It's a beauty.




SHOPPER: (to a shop assistant)

I love this dress so much. But I cannot afford it. UGH!


It's quite elegant. everyone loves it.


SHOPPER'S FRIEND:

Your husband can buy it for you with all that money he saves from giving up smoking, gambling and alcohol.


SHOP ASSISTANT JAW DROPS


His clothes still smell like cigarette smoke


Well, he can get a new wardrobe with all that money he is saving



Good thing he gave up those things. I just couldn't afford them anymore since I was made redundant.





I'm going to #London Fashion Week later. I can't wait.


Really? I wish I know someone who know someone who could get me a ticket. I'd really would love the experience.


GIGGLES


UGH! I'm so not looking forward to it this year.


Sounds like your'e getting older, or are you just feeling under the weather?


I just don't care. Why should I care when I can't afford to go?


I won a VIP ticket.




Shopper tries on a hat and asked a female shopper whether it suits him. She didn't get the chance to give her opinion as she was first by a male shopper who was in earshot of the request.



Male shopper: Not being rude, but it makes you look like someone from the 1960s.



Shopper: (raises voice; taking exception)

EXCUSE ME! You look like SOMETHING from the 1940s. GRRR!


Female shopper: (authoritatively)

I beg to defer.. I think it looks FEARSOME AND HANDSOME, so go for it.



Store Manager:

I like your fashion sense. How about working for us?



Female Shopper:

I'm only 15, sorry. But thanks.


Radcliffe IS ABOUT TO PAY AT THE TILL


HANA: (to manager)

Here's the guy who was looking for a nice black jeans. (to Radcliffe) Sorry, I could not return to help you. It got very busy.


Radcliffe:

It's fine. I helped myself.



MANAGER:

We just received  a a trendy set of black jeans, you'll love the silhouette and caricature...


Radcliffe: (hold up jeans for all to see)

Actually, I found the look I'm looking for in the sales area.  Do you think it will look good on me?



MANAGER:

Only two seasons old, but it's in excellent condition. At half price, that's good value for money...if you'll excuse me, I must put the new jeans on display. (walks away)



HANA:

Members of staff are entitled to a further 25% off sale items like these.


RONNIE: (quips)

Sounds great. Are there any vacancies?


HANA:

No. But it's not necessary to get a job here.


RONNIE:

What do you mean?


HANA:

I'll offer you the discount.


Are you sure? Wont you get in trouble.


HANA:

Don't worry. I'm entitled to it.


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