-scale=1.0" : "width=1100"' name='viewport'/>scale=1.0,minimum Sidewalk Darlings: September 2012

Saturday 22 September 2012

New Primark

THE MOMENT arrived for the ubiquitous sidewalk darling, NICK, to hunt for cheaper versions of the inspired catwalk pieces on London Fashion Week.His sidekicks muttered about being tired.Any style starlet would have been tired after 3 consecutive days of LFW; not NICK. He literally dragged them to the opening of Primark's flagship store at the end of Oxford Street.

NICK wears Zara Denim shirt, Primark polo T shirt, All Saints jeans and  Office converse



SECURITY released the bargain hunters in the store at 9am sharp. The first thing that made on impression  on them was its monstrosity.

                                        SPACE
WOW!  This is Seventh heaven. Totally amazing...This is the biggest Primark I have been into. It's too BIG!


                                        NICK
Actually, the one in Marble Arch is much BIGGER


KATO
It's not!


  NICK
When was the last time you were there?


   SPACE
I have never been. I saw it on TV


Nick and Kato guffawed.
......................................................................



     KATO
What you doing?

     SPACE
Sending a text to my sister to let her new I'm in Primark's flagship store

     NICK
(grunts)
That supposed to make her day. Soon, lots of people will descend on the scene, it's gonna be like a battleground. Crazy Crazy! So we need to do what we came to do and get the hell out of here

I suggest we get the hell out of here NOW. I'm a little tired, actually.


   KATO

Me also


 NICK
We just came, we havent done ANYTHING as yet, you lemming!

.........................................................................


Beautiful clothes...AWESOME prices...

It's a fabulous store
......................................................................

      SPACE

109, 110, 111...


      KATO
....What the hell do you think your'e doing?

      SPACE
Nothing. Just counting the number of tills

      NICK
What? Are you here to shop, or do mathematics?

Shop, but I'm just working out how long for us to get served

     KATO
You are crazy!

........................................................................

The sidewalk darlings caught a shopper stealing some clothes.


     KATO
Oi...make sure you pay for that...if you can't afford, find yourself a job


ShopLIFTER ignored him, continued packing clothes in his bag.

KATO grabbed him, "call the police SPACE!..I'll have to arrest you thief."


      NICK
We are not policemen. Let him go

       SPACE
(grabbing the shoplifter's leg)
WE GOT YOU, THIEF....This is a civillian arrest. Shut your mouth. And stop resisting.


ShopLIFTER looked like a bodybuilder. He wriggled out of the sidewalk darlings' grip, then escaped down the stairs.


SHOPLIFTER

I recognize you lazy, TIMEWASTERS from the sidewalk bench. I'LL GET YOU!


SPACE

We recognize you THIEF!
.....................................................
                                SPACE

We queued for 17 minutes just to try on clothes...Now I'm wondering, will we ever get the chance to pay?

                                 KATO
This queue to pay is even longer

                                SPACE
Much longer. we have wasted 19 minutes in it so far


                                 KATO
Too MANY PEOPLE here today fam


             NICK

Stop complaining. (sings) "try a little PATIENCE".......There were far more people at the Marble Arch opening. So the queues were MUCH longer. So we should be thankful, this opening did not attract that vast number of people. Just enjoy the moment


           SPACE
22 minutes gone now guys.


                 NICK
Some of the cashiers are just TOO slow. UGH!... Look! That man is wearing a woman's cardigan. What the hell was he thinking?


(women behind the sidewalk darlings, discussed ethics if buying Primark clothes)

           
               METEOR
We should boycott Primark


               UFC
What...? How can you not LOVE Primark? Where else can I treat myself with a pair of plimsolls, 5 pairs of socks and a pair of jeans for £11?


                   METEOR
Did you know, people who make these products work under appalling working conditions, get little pay, and even children have to work under these awful conditions..



                 UFC
I always struggle with this issue. I thought of boycotting, but I can't, Because, even though its not right for anyone to work under these conditions, if we boycott the products, these people will not have a job....In other words, it's better to be getting little pay than no pay



                METEOR
I see your point. It's a tricky issue indeed

.................................................................................


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Thursday 20 September 2012

London Fashion Week: Day 2

SIDEWALK darling, FILM, and his camera-timid sidekicks, Chase and Lindsay, turned up on the secand day of London Fashion Week. The Spring/Summer 2013 collections impressed on them the need to invigorate their SUITCASES if they are to look as sharp and crisp as the models on the catwalk. Normally, they would rely on everyday inspiration on the sidewalk. However, with raucous cheers, they welcomed the iridescent catwalk creations; especially the metallic colors and floral prints. Officials displaying Exhibition Passes, promptly asked them to keep the noise down...

FILM wears headscarf from Camden Market, FCUK  Long sleeved top , Zara  shorts and  converse



                            CHASE
The show has'nt even started yet, yet this posh idiot is trying to muzzle us

                            LINDSAY
What's taking so long?


                         


                                         FILM
(craning his neck to see the front)
I don't know...Oh. There are some empty seats on the front rows..maybe the would-be occupants are running late

                                        CHASE:
This is ridiculous! a catwalk show last, on average, 12 minutes, so you think they would make on effort to get here on time.


FRONT ROW GETTING REFRESHMENS.



                                                                   
(moaned)                         CHASE
Hmm. We should try get on the front row nex time.... They seem to be getting all the treats..



                                       FILM
We are LUCKY to be on the back row, so shut up before they throw us out. Lots of people on the outside WISHING they could get inside

                                                                                LINDSAY
Lots of people stayed home, some of them WISHING they could be OUTSIDE. Others have tickets front row, but can't make it for whatever reasons.

                                                                                 FILM
True. And there are people behind us, STANDING....Have you noticed? We are just as impeccably dressed as the front row....


                                                                                 CHASE
We're looking good, of course....Forget the front row...I say, we could give the models on the runway, a run for their money..


THEY BANG ON THE BACK OF CHAIRS, SPECTATORS TURNED AROUND AND GAVE THEM DIRTY LOOKS


                                                                                CHASE
What you all looking at? Do I look like the RUNWAY to you? UGH!

                                                                                LINDSAY
I like your style. I think THEY do too.


A handful of people walked in and took the vacant front row seats. Officials came over, examined their tickets. Promptly point them towards the back row.


                                                                         LINDSAY
                     (chuckles) SERVE THEM RIGHT



.......................................................................................


                                         FILM

Spring better hurry up...The models are glowing in the vibrant colours and signature prints...We MUST hit the shopping mall for cheaper versions of these magnificent creations.


                                        CHASE
(gushes)
Indeed!....Look at the soft textures, the thoughtful tailoring of the garments. Awesome! We need that glow also.


                                        LINDSAY
(giggled)

We must get some wearable prints


                                         CHASE
Indeed...I would wear that(points at model on catwalk) floral jumpsuit...It's my birthday, incidentally.


                                   
                                          FILM
....That's just for the catwalk. It's jaw-dropping but you wouldnt let you sit beside me on the sidewalk bench, wearing that. I'm the star on the bench. Those bright colours would let you outshine me. And it's NOT your birthday.


                                          LINDSAY giggled.


                                           CHASE

I KNOW the difference between wearable fashion and catwalk pieces....I was merely joking



                                              LINDSAY
                                                   
LIAR!!!!Don't lie...You were serious.


                                                       WOMAN SITTING FEW ROWS BELOW:

SHUT UP....If you have no catwalk decorum, you should go back to the sidewalk bench where you CLEARLY belong.


                                               CHASE
(cackles softly)

OUCH!


                                                FILM
                                 You both need to behave yourselves before we get kicked out...As a matter of fact, let's go back stage.






..........................................................

                                             FILM

How would you describe the atmosphere backstage?


INTERN

I'm having a wonderful time. Working backstage  at London fashion Week is a dream come true; meeting the models and experiencing the scenes


INTERN

Backstage is Live on Fashion TV, so all my family and friends are watching me right now. It feels great.


                                                FILM

What's your role?


                                               WOMAN HEADING TOWARDS THE TOILET
I'm a make up artist for the models....I've just finished applying make up on Juliana Schurig



                          FILM
(glances over on Juliana)

She created waves on New York Fashion Week, she is destined to do the same on London Fashion Week. She look stunning. Well done!


Thank You!



                           FILM
(to man emerging from toilet)
Mary Katrantzou is doing amazing job with these models hair and beauty....


No doubt


                          FILM

......What question would you ask her about her designs, if you get the chance to do so?


..I...I..I don't know. I would be too overwhelmed to say anything.. I have great respect for her Swarovski Collective..

.........................................


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Monday 17 September 2012

London Fashion Week: Day 1


PARLEZ-VOUS fashion? Well, the effervescent YEMEN does, swimmingly. Despite his dizziness from the fluke at the Mcq store, he headed straight to Somerset House where the first day of London Fashion Week was already in full swing. Yes! He wore the same ensemble to both events. No time to go home and change. Besides, he didn't want to miss any more of the collections. He posed for pictures, by Angelina, at the gate with his sidewalk sidekicks, Ellen and Kate.


              YEMEN
How come none of you said NOTHING about what I'm wearing on the first day of London Fashion Week?


               KATE:
I love the BRITISH Look


                YEMEN
Strictly British; Pringle neck scarf, Topman shorts, Vivienne Westwood T shirt and Mulberry boots. These brands are rapidly becoming my favorites for statement pieces..


                 ELLEN
(displayed thumbs up gesture)

 I'd definitely go for this look. Well, done.


                 KATE
I just love the shorts and the white top.


                 YEMEN
Thanks guys for the thumbs up. What would I do without my loyal sidekicks?....Angelina is finished taking pictures of us, let's go inside

................................................

They were just in time to see Maria Grachvogel's awe-inspiring collection.

.................................................................


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Sunday 16 September 2012

The Mcq store


TERRY almost missed DAY 1 of London Fashion Week, owing to a fluke at the Alexander Mcqueen store opening. He first visited the McQ Flagship store in June, but was told he'd have to wait few more months. Few months seemed like years. Naturally, when it finally opened, he and his sidewalk sidekick, ROSH, were FIRST in the queue. Other Alexander Mcqueen's aficionados arrived hours later.

Black/Ivory McQ Leather Biker Jacket
This jacket is at the center of the fluke. More later.

SECURITY stepped forward as Terry and Rosh attempted to enter the store.


TERRY:

Is this the new Alexander Mcqueen store?



SECURITY:

Yes!



TERRY:

So do we need invitations or something to enter?



SECURITY, Demi;
(stepping back)

No! Not at all.


TERRY:

Thank you

....................................................................................

Staff members were immediately noticeable. They were well-dressed and, of course, there was a disproprtionate number of them to the number of shoppers.

If there were clear signs indicating what department was upstairs and downstairs, Terry did not notice them. Rosh rushed downstairs excitedly. On instinct, Terry mounted the wide, beautifully carpeted stairs. They led to the Menswear department. Like the first floor, it was spacious and immaculate. Both the ready-wear and catwalk pieces were lush, resplesdent and priceless.


A woman was taking pictures of the delightful pieces in the collection. Terry assumed she was a blogger. He whipped out his camera, and without asking for permission, started taking photographs of items he fancied. ALL OF THEM.

....................................................................................

STAFF
May I help you?


TERRY

I'm just looking(and taking pictures), thanks

Terry and the 'blogger' got so carried away while snapping away, they almost bumped into each other. They shared a smile, then moved on.

.................................................................................................................

This STUNNING biker jacket captured Terry's little heart. He daydreamed about teaming it with lots of other pieces in his 'famous' suitcase. He had a casual glance at the price tag; £1,265.00.....
A staff member rushed to Terry's side.


Black/Ivory McQ Leather Biker Jacket
Heart stealer!


  STAFF: Are you feeling okay?


TERRY:

May I have a chair, please? Quickly!


STAFF
Sure. (to ROSH) did he fall down or something?


ROSH

No. He saw the price of that biker jacket. I think it over-impressed, sorry, over-whelmed him

..................................................................................................................

STAFF

I'm sorry


TERRY

It's my fault. I had already noticed that the other biker Jacket cost £2,340, so  I shouldn't have looked on the    

price tag for this one. UGH!


STAFF

Shall I get you a glass of water


TERRY

Good God, no. I'm feeling better now


..............................................................................................

Rosh:

Never mind, it's not that appealing anyway.


TERRY:

Look! I love that look. Put on your glasses and have another look at it.


ROSH:

When you attain your dream of becoming a sidewalk icon, tourists from all over the world taking pictures of you on the bench, you can come back and buy it.


TERRY:

I deserve it Now. Not years from now


ROSH:
(admonished)
Have a little faith man.


TERRY:

You don't understand. I have never loved a biker jacket before. I desperately need this one. It's so stylish, so vibrant, so....


ROSH:

......It's not meant to be man. Forget it...for now...until you start raking in millions from you iconic sidewalk status. It will be worth the wait. I promise you.


TERRY:

The time is now....Almost £1300. I have NEVER seen that kind of money in my life. Damn!


ROSH

Okay, since it will restore your smile, I'll buy it for you.


TERRY

Your kindness is more priceless than this expensive jacket. Let's go!


ROSH

What about the jacket?


TERRY:

I don't need it! It will be a cold winter without it, but I'll be fine with someone like you sitting beside me on the bench.


ROSH

What? You can't just unlove the jacket in an instant like that. That's not possible.


TERRY

Come on! Can't you see that YOU  have RESTORED my smile? We already missed a few hours of magic at London Fashion Week, so Let's GO. (to bemused staff members) I'll be back...


ROSH
(teased)
Years from now


TERRY

Have some faith man!!

................................................................................


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Thursday 13 September 2012

London Fashion Week starts/McQ store opens


HULLABALOO mounts on the sidewalk bench among fashion-fiend Satnav and his droll sidekicks, ATT and Anna. They can hardly wait to see London Fashion Week kick off and the McQ Flagship store opens on Dover street, Saville Row. Today.


                                                    SATNAV:
I'm gonna miss streaming New York Fashion Week show....But London Fashion Week starts TODAY! Hurrah!


                                                   ANNA
Next, Milian and Paris.....It will be sad if we don't make it to London fashion week.


                                                 ATT
Where are we gonna tickets now?


                                                 ANNA
If we miss it, we can always go to the one next February. London Fashion Week is gonna be crazy. Just imagine the feeling of working there as models. Awesome.


                                                  SATNAV
Dream on. Your'e talking PUFFERY.....


ANNA
What?

Anna, YOU can go in February, I'm going TODAY.....Talk about London Fashion Week, Last week, I overheard passers-by talking about Alexander McQueen brand opening a menswear store in Saville Row.


              ATT
Awesome.


             ANNA
So are we definitely heading to TWO events tonight then?


              ATT
The more the merrier!


             ANNA
Awesome. I'll bring my boyfriend them.


SATNAV AND ATT EXCHANGE BEMUSED LOOKS


                                   SATNAV:
Anyway!!!!!Who will volunteer to iron my London Fashion Week outfit?


ATT
Me!



 ANNA
You are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I volunteer for organizations, not individuals.

ATT
Incidentally, what will you be wearing to McQ store opening?


ANNA
(taunts)
The same outfit he'll be wearing to London fashion Week, of course.


SATNAV
Speak for yourself....For your information, my suitcase, is running out of space...


ATT
ouch!!!!!!


ANNA
Shut up.

..................................................


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Wednesday 5 September 2012

Men's Fashion Week

WALKING dapifer of style and perrenial follower of fashion, Reshuffle, was looking forward to the inauguration of London Collection: Men. However, one little, rather big, annoyance stood in his way; a protruding belly: UGH! No way could he afford to miss London's very first Mens' fashion Week. His chums on sidewalk bench respond to his SOS..
Instead of walking in Mens' Fashion Week, Reshuffle almost walk past the event's venue. He wore Gap Vest, TopMan  T Shirt, Esprit denim shorts, All Stars converse and, er, spandex from....



                                              RESHUFFLE:

CHUMS! I MUST get rid of these love handles...Who will rescue me with a spandex for men tank top, I can't go to Mens fashion Week, looking like an OAF


                                               MICHELLE
Count me out. You love eating too much, now you are looking for the easiest way out. How lazy!



                                               RESHUFFLE:
Well, I tried cutting back on how much I eat and excercise, a little more, but NOTHING is working so far. And time is running out. UGH!



                                               MICHAEL:
You left it a little late, I'm afraid. It takes time to see any meaningful results. Otherwise, attend the event with your paunch. Just let it OUT chum! Hardly anyone will notice it.


                                                MICHELLE:
Well, You got to do, what you got to do. I could lend you my whale bone corset. It works but you may find it difficult to breathe though.



                                                 RESHUFFLE:
Thanks! NO offence, but you need it as much as I do


     MICHELLE:
Excuse me!


     MICHAEL
It's the truth though.


                                                  RESHUFFLE:
It's my fault. I had months to prepare for Mens' Fashion Week, but I didn't do a darn thing but stuff myself with food. Ugh!


               MICHAEL
You drank alot as well


                RESHUFFLE:
That's it! Only a liquid diet could prepare me in this short space of time. No Solid food.


                MICHELLE
I make good kale soup

                MICHAEL
Once you had my smoothies, you will want it forever.


                RESHUFFLE:
Thanks chums. I'll Stop Panicking!

...................................................................................


RESHUFFLE wore a spandex to Mens' Fashion Week, no one had to know. He was ready for the show. No backstage passes or drink vouchers. Nevertheless, he and his stylish sidewalk chums were excited to be there, They couldn't wait to peek at the fabulous collections.


                           MICHELLE

Dapper! Just Beautiful. The spandex is working miracles for you, chum.


                           RESHUFFLE:

Only at Men's Fashion baby.


................................................................................................................

  Hundreds of ticket-holders gathered on the sidewalk. As they slowly filed into the building,  Reshuffle distinguished himself as an eminent Sidewalk Presenter, so they willingly volunteered their names and answer his piercing questions.

              
                           PICKLER
Honoured to be the Photographer's assistant. Not getting paid, but that's fine.


 RESHUFFLE
And you?


                          BOB
Runway Assistant...I'll be covering backstage beauty. I'm a key figure in the nail team....This might sound cliched to you, but I'm living the dream...from the sidewalk bench to working backstage of London'd first Mens Fashion Week...Behind the scene, that's where it's at.....



        RESHUFFLE
....And you?


       ELISHA
I'm the photographer. Joking. I'll just be floating around...picking up little stories..Full Access has been authorized for me; backstage, front row, runway,etc. I'm doing the coverage for a SIDEWALK magazine. My first time.



        RESHUFFLE
I am super elated to be here, anyone else?


         GINA
(excitedly)
ME! I'd be pissed if I was unable to make it today. The British Fashion Council DESERVES  thumbs up for dedicating a fashion week just for men.

..............................................................................
                                                                                                                            BACKSTAGE


It felt like summer backstage; the posing models were HOT and, er, SUPER skinny.


                       MICHAEL
                (chuckles)
No doubt some of the best looks here are the models themselves


                        MICHELLE
No doubt man! The Models are my favourite looks. It's a pity Mens' Fashion Week lasts only 3 days. UGH!

                         RESHUFFLE:
Wait a minute! Is that Chace Crawford?


Where?


(Points)
There


Oh. Who is this Chace Crawford?


              RESHUFFLE
Never mind!


Is it true that Prince Charles will be here


Who told you that

No One. I read it in the Metro and Evening Standard

..............................................................................................

The curtain came down on London Collection: Men with the Looking Glass's Brandy, You're a Fine Girl. Reshuffle mouthed the lyrics while waiting for his chums to emerge from the toilets. From out of nowhere Pippa appeared.


                                  PIPPA
This is the third fashion event I'm spotting you at, WHO are you?....


                                  RESHUFFLE
  ....and if you planning to be at London Fashion Week in September, it will be the FOURTH


                                 PIPPA
I'm looking forward to the Burberry Show, so see you there. By the way, will you be at the inauguration party?


                                 RESHUFFLE
I haven't had any invitation as yet. But in the meantime, I need to cut down from a size 14 jeans to a size 10. Then I'll be ready for whatever....
...................................................................................



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