Showcasing red and black outfit on sidewalk

NUMBERLESS motorists and pedestrians will watch Kevin parade the first outfit from his Fearsome and Handsome collection. It will not be the first thyme he's strutting on the sidewalk, and he will be doing so for a mere 9 minutes. Nevertheless, he is as trepidatious as hell.

BOBBY:

Stop PREENING on the sidewalk. People are watching.

KEVIN:

Let them watch. I have to ensure these clothes look good, so leave me alone.

BOBBY:

And what the hell is that? tuck the t shirt in the jeans

KEVIN:

You're not my dad!

BOBBY:

Thank God, I'm only your uncle. I said TUCK IN YOUR T SHIRT

KEVIN:

Youre not my lecturer...Look how many other pedestrians going about their business without tucking in their shirts. UGH!

BOBBY:

OKAY! If you wanna look like a damn tool on the sidewalk. That's your damn business.

KEVIN:

I'm just walking on a sidewalk NOT trying to get into a damn club

BOBBY:

If the shirt, especially a black one, has buttons all the way down, then you MUST TUCK IN at all times. Got that?

KEVIN:

Yes. But everyone can see that I'm wearing a RED t shirt, not a black one.

BOBBY:

Tucking also help in disguising a voluptuous waistline.

KEVIN:

Are you calling me fat?

BOBBY:

hELL NO. Just voluptuous.


LAUGHTER

KEVIN:

Whatever!  How about tucking in my shirt, zip me up and buttoning my trousers?

                                                            KEVIN AND HIS CHUM COTTON

KEVIN:

I paid only 25% of the original prices for these clothing.


Cotton:

Are you serious? How come?


KEVIN:

The shop assistant offer me discounts on the sales prices.


Cotton:

You are so lucky. I think she loves you.


KEVIN:

Who could blame her?


LAUGHTER


Cotton:

Anyway, it's very cold on the sidewalk, you'll need a coat.

KEVIN:

I'll be fine

Cotton:

Are you crazy? You'll freeze to death.

KEVIN:

What would you say about the hundreds of  half-naked shoppers queueing up in front of Top Shop for free clothes?

Cotton:

No!


KEVIN:

GO SEE FOR YOURSELF! They are blocking the whole sidewalk. Two hundred metres from here.

Cotton:

So it's looks above practicality! What is the world coming to?


KEVIN:

I wish I knew.

KEVIN IS ACCOSTED BY JOGGER, Derek, WHO SLOWS DOWN FOR A CHAT

DEREK:

Hey! your red and black clothes look familiar.

EVERYONE GASPS

KEVIN:

They are mine! Are you insinuating that I stole them?

DEREK:

Are you in Simon Cowell's RED OR BLACK show?

KEVIN:

(stutters) I..I..I AM

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

KEVIN:

In fact, I'm just walking to the studio to shoot an audience scene. So, if you'll excuse me

APPLAUSE

BOBBY:

Okay, if you want others to see your gucci belt, you MUST tuck in the front of your t shirt

PASSER BY:

Sorry to interrupt. You look is just fine. I admire a man who knows when not to tuck his T shirt in his jeans.The outfit looks so good, it needs no jewellery to jazz it up. Good for you.


KEVIN:

Thank you!

BOBBY:

 It is NOT a good look.

KEVIN:

Well, I think it looks just fine. I am not going to a job interview or or to some fancy place with strict dress code. They make me tuck my shirt in at work. I hate that SO MUCH.

BOBBY:

That tight jeans looks are so wrong. Aren't you afraid it will show up your backside too much?


KEVIN:

Will you ever stop? GRRR!


PASSERBY:

It's better for a guy to wear tight jeans than having his trousers falling off his backside, showing his under-pants...Give me a guy in baggy jeans anytime

BOBBY:

Teaming those together do not look good. If you had paired them with some jewellery, the outfit would have have looked more original and chic.


KEVIN:

Shut up! What does minnows like you know about sidewalk looks?


BOBBY:

Are you gonna tweeze your eyebrows as well?


KEVIN:

You have distracted me for 8 minutes. Thanks for the support 'uncle'. I would like to finish th last minute on my own, if you don't mind.

BOBBY:

I was leaving for the London Fashion Week show, anyway. GOODBYE!

............................................................................

SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

SHOPPING for red and black fashion

A candy floss pink shirt looks too feminine, Radcliffe surmises. PINK - This colour is definitely not for him. His sidewalk chums would argue that he's taking metro-sexuality too seriously. However, he disagrees that a real man should never where pink. Utter fatuity. On this occasion, however, he prefers a more dramatic colour.

A boy conceals himself in dressing room, then springs on girl as she enters, frightening the living daylights out of her.

SCREAMS

Radcliffe: (approaches shop assistant, HANA, with clothes in hand)

hi. I'm looking for size extra large, colour classic red, in this T shirt, but there is none on the shop-floor. Are there any at the back, please?



HANA:

I'm not sure. But I'll have a look for you. Just wait a moment please.

Radcliffe scans the shop floor.

CHARLES HELPS WHITNEY WITH HER SHOPPING


Whitney:

"Thanks for helping me, Charles, my girlfriends gives a headache when they shop with me. they're so unhelpful"


CHARLES:

"I't's no problem."


Whitney:

"If my bottom looks big in a pair of jeans, you must tell me though."


CHARLES:

"I.. I... I... I..promise." Where is the nearest toilet?




                                                        SINEAD AND DIONNE

DIONNE:

It's very important to ALWAYS have a black dresses.


SINEAD:

Why?


DIONNE:

Why? So many reasons. For instance, If you feel the need to feel or look thinner, then a black dress is your best bet.


SINEAD:

Well, I don't FEEL the need to FEEL or LOOK thinner


DIONNE:

I said 'SO MANY REASONS', didn't I? Anyway, if you want a simple black dresses, your best bet is H&M


SINEAD:

We are in H&M




Still no sign of  HANA  15 minutes later.  So Radcliffe  'helps' a beautiful girl decide on a pair of boots.


Radcliffe:

Those boots are made for you


thanks



Radcliffe:

You should get them


I'm thinking about it, thanks. Do you have them in any other colour?



HANA: (finally returns, interrupts)

I'm sorry but we have ran out of size extra large in that T shirt


Radcliffe:

Thanks. I'm looking for a nice pair of black jeans as well. Anything you could recommend?


HANA:

I'll have a look. Wait here please.




ONCE AGAIN,  HANA  TAKES AGES TO RETURN.   Radcliffe   SPOTS A RACK WITH SALES CLOTHES AND STARTS TO RUMMAGE IT.



Two middle aged women chat about one of their daughters who used to love sugar but weaned herself from it. Few minutes later, one of them went to the till with a blouse.


Woman1: That is too small for you

Woman2: I'm wearing lots of  T shirts and blouses because it is so cold today


I should'nt have said that


Till Operator: (burst into laughter) It's best YOU say it, not me


I better try it on. UGH!



FEW MINUTES LATER



Till Operator: Are you happy with it?

Yes, it fits.


WOMAN1:

I was wrong..... It's good to be wrong in this way



Radcliffe notices the girl heading to the till without the boots he reccommended.


Radcliffe: (conspiratorial whisper)

'You'll regret not taking those boots.'



I know, but I just can't have them today.


Radcliffe:

Oh. I don't blame you. I think they are too expensive also.



It's not that. I tend to stumble on the sidewalk when I wear stilettos, so I'm buying these flats instead.


Radcliffe: (enthuses)

It's a beauty.




SHOPPER: (to a shop assistant)

I love this dress so much. But I cannot afford it. UGH!


It's quite elegant. everyone loves it.


SHOPPER'S FRIEND:

Your husband can buy it for you with all that money he saves from giving up smoking, gambling and alcohol.


SHOP ASSISTANT JAW DROPS


His clothes still smell like cigarette smoke


Well, he can get a new wardrobe with all that money he is saving



Good thing he gave up those things. I just couldn't afford them anymore since I was made redundant.





I'm going to #London Fashion Week later. I can't wait.


Really? I wish I know someone who know someone who could get me a ticket. I'd really would love the experience.


GIGGLES


UGH! I'm so not looking forward to it this year.


Sounds like your'e getting older, or are you just feeling under the weather?


I just don't care. Why should I care when I can't afford to go?


I won a VIP ticket.




Shopper tries on a hat and asked a female shopper whether it suits him. She didn't get the chance to give her opinion as she was first by a male shopper who was in earshot of the request.



Male shopper: Not being rude, but it makes you look like someone from the 1960s.



Shopper: (raises voice; taking exception)

EXCUSE ME! You look like SOMETHING from the 1940s. GRRR!


Female shopper: (authoritatively)

I beg to defer.. I think it looks FEARSOME AND HANDSOME, so go for it.



Store Manager:

I like your fashion sense. How about working for us?



Female Shopper:

I'm only 15, sorry. But thanks.


Radcliffe IS ABOUT TO PAY AT THE TILL


HANA: (to manager)

Here's the guy who was looking for a nice black jeans. (to Radcliffe) Sorry, I could not return to help you. It got very busy.


Radcliffe:

It's fine. I helped myself.



MANAGER:

We just received  a a trendy set of black jeans, you'll love the silhouette and caricature...


Radcliffe: (hold up jeans for all to see)

Actually, I found the look I'm looking for in the sales area.  Do you think it will look good on me?



MANAGER:

Only two seasons old, but it's in excellent condition. At half price, that's good value for money...if you'll excuse me, I must put the new jeans on display. (walks away)



HANA:

Members of staff are entitled to a further 25% off sale items like these.


RONNIE: (quips)

Sounds great. Are there any vacancies?


HANA:

No. But it's not necessary to get a job here.


RONNIE:

What do you mean?


HANA:

I'll offer you the discount.


Are you sure? Wont you get in trouble.


HANA:

Don't worry. I'm entitled to it.