London Fashion Week, Day 4

ADAM was the media darling at London Fashion Week. Fogyish fashionistas thought his outfit was ridiculous but fashion editors and photographers loved him. Moral of the story, never dress in clothes Adam would never wear. He was born that way. Shall I spear you the details? Fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan, lots of botox, maybe plastic surgery.(KIDDING)

Teaming a badass River Island loose fit dungaree with a cool French Connection print shirt and All Star converse. Justin! What a character!

JUSTIN

Adam's leather trouser's crotch look like it has a full load of excrement. He's a regular on the sidewalk but I have never seen him wearing in anything like this outfit...What a fashion statement. He must keep this look.


KATE

A fashion statement not to be missed...I love the Mc Hammer-inspired trousers and the technicolour walking stick. (quips) HAMMER TIME!



[Lots of mutterings in the background about the eagerly anticipated London Fashion Week, Harry Styles bagging front row seats when it should be them]



KRISTEN

Why on earth has Adam adopted this strange look?


[Watching him posing for pictures in them was even funnier. There were lots of other attractions in the queue but all eyes were on Adam. No one dared to look elsewhere.]

MALE

I just prefer jeans and t-shirts and...


KATE

....PYJAMAS! I have seen you on the sidewalk in pyjamas..


MALE

TRUE But that's a better fashion statement than Adam's embarrasingly DISGUSTING leather Mc Hammer trousers.


JUSTIN

He looks more comfortable though.


[Because Adam's stick is so colourful, photographers are eager to snap him with it, despite his constant protests]


Photographer

Hello. We are from Shortlist magazine, is it okay to take a picture of your outfit?

ADAM

Sure! Just let me hide this.....


[CAMERA FLASHES]


ADAM

Couldnt you wait until I hide the damn stick. I don't want to appear in fashion magazines with a stick. UGH!

PHOTOGRAPHER

Sorry!

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[ During Jayne Pierson's show]




JUSTIN
(gushes)

That's a risque bow tie top. It's the best. It's beautiful..I adore it.


KRISTEN

I have to snap this one.


KATE

It's nicely teamed with that Zara Woman skirt


JUSTIN

It would be better teamed with a velvet bow tie, velvet double-breasted jacket, tuxedo skirt and black patent leather shoes...Get your cameras ready duds. Grace Dol and the rest of the STORM crew is heading towards us. Oh, Christian Blanken is with them as well.



[Adam passes first. Snappers take photos rapidly.]


ADAM

Damn! If you are not gonna ask for my permission to photograph me, you could atleast ask permission to photograph my stick.UGH!


KATE

Poor Adam. If they love the stick so much, he should position it by itself so they can take as many pictures of it, then they can take pictures of him - without it.


JUSTIN

That's nonsense. The stick is a part of his look

                                                     comment please!
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KRISTEN
(roll eyes)

Adam must have had a drink before putting on those plastic doll, attention-whore clothes. Where the HELL is his mother when she needs him. Ugh!


ONLOOKER

There's better clothes out there for him. Look! He's still having luck with the ladies' telephone numbers.


JUSTIN

For heavensake, leave the man's outfit alone. This is London Fashion Week, NOT your everyday fashion event. it would be POINTLESS dressing up like this for a LESSER event...This outfit is perfect for this event. Besides, he's thoroughly enjoying himself. He's a lovable character.



DIETING ADVICE MAN

It disgust me that some people are blind to the fun in all this. Your'e all just jealous. He's happy and you are obviously NOT. Fashion hater! Get over yourselves.


KRISTEN

Shut up! I dont know what these journalists and photographers see in him. Waste of air time....Can we have the old minimalist Adam back please? He's clearly trying to channel Kim Kardashian...


KATE

...CHALLENGE, not channel


LAUGHTER

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ADAM

(to photographer who snaps him the most)

May I see the pictures you took of me?


PHOTOGRAPHER

No problem. Come and have a look


10 MINUTES LATER


ADAM
(rants)

What the hell! You snapped me even when I was trying to get the damn stick out of the picture. These are not photographs of ME! They are photographs of the STICK and me. UGH!

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