DIANE VON FURSTENBERG teaming with Gap kids

GOK,why are kids pouring off the sidewalk into Gap Kids? DIANE VON FURSTENBERG LAUNCHES HER FIRST GAP KIDS' COLLECTION TODAY. Oh! So who are thoze DARN lemmings hanging around the kids? Ryan, THOSE ARE THE PARENTS.



RYAN:

OH MY GOSH! You did'nt hear the news?


GOK:

I did hear the news but NOTHING about DIANE VON FURSTENBERG partnering with Gap.



She is my favorite designer



Mine also.



I did'nt know that



I TOLD YOU



I must have forgotten,sorry



I'll reprimand you later. Lets stop and have a look.


I'd love to see what's on offer, but we can't stop now. We're already running late because you were walking too slow.


Come on.


And even if we stop, there is nothing in the collection for adults....only KIDS! That's discrimination.


Promise you'll keep this secret


What secret?


I once recreated a style I spotted on the sidewalk - from Gap kids.


You devil! How did you manage to fit into kids clothes?


I bought the outfit in XL. Come on, I'll help you find clothes from the collection that will fit you.




THEY PUSH THEIR WAY INTO THE STORE




I'm in!

So am I


I guess it's time to say bye bye to a large portion of my savings


Lucky you. I have no savings. Good thing I brought my credit card.


THEY LAUGH



The range looks rather exclusive. The prints and colours are adorable

(gasps) Ahhhhh!

Stop it! You'll embarass me

I can't help it. How is it possible for some people to dislike GAP? I'm a BIG aficionada of Gap clothes. BIG! I've been sporting trendy gap clothes from I was a toddler and as an adult, I'm still doing it.

Today, I'd like to re-join

Well, you're in the right place...with the right friend.




THEY WANDER AROUND


I'd kill for this wrap dresses I found for my little sister. I only hope she'll like it.

It's lovely. She'll adore it!

I know but like me, she prefers to wear imitations of what she see other kids wearing on the sidewalk.

You're a bad influence on her. she just might make an exception fort this beautiful number...Aren't you jealous you can't wear it.


Damn right!No Diane Von for me. I'll just have to stick to wearing topshop ensembles.

What do you think about this(holds up pink and green dress)

It's cute, but you'll need to get it in XL. This is too small for you

It's for my niece, NOT ME!

How are you gonna explain to  your nephew why you bought nothing for him?

How are you gonna explain to your little BROTHER?


HEADING THROUGH THE DOOR


RYAN:

Quite an impressive range of clothing. Unfortunate it's for girls only.


GOK:

That's discrimination...against boys.


I'm so upset.

Look on the bright side. You get to keep your savings, and I keep my credit

You're right. DId you see the price tags?

Sure. They have those 'look but don't touch prices.'

Indeed.

Great design and quality though.

Indeed. By the way, did you know DIANE VON FURSTENBERG was born in the same year as my grandmother?

Maybe. Did you tell me before?

KIRK accosts pedestrians about their styles

IF you do mind someone remodelling your look, NEVER let Kirk sees you in modish clothes on the sidewalk. Ensconce yourself. his Fearsome and Handsome collection, is desperete for some new pieces. So desperete, he resorts to accosting pedestrians directly.



KIRK:


I like what your'e wearing, where can I buy them?


Pedestrian, Tulisa, looks at him quizically.



KIRK:

...For my sister....it's her birthday..today.


Tulisa:

Oh..Looking out for your sister, eh! I love your style.....I got this ensemble from a new shop, recently opened. It's a exclusive shop. I can only whisper it's name.


KIRK:

Okay. Go on then


Tulisa WHISPERS



KIRK:

Do they have the outfit in the colours you're wearing?


Tulisa:

 no. Only tangerine and pistacchio


KIRK:

i don't mind. any colour will do.


Tulisa  TURNS TO LEAVE



KIRK:

Wait! You've been so kind. Do you mind if I take a picture of what you're wearing.


Tulisa:

YES!


KIRK:

Okay, strike a pose.


Tulisa:

YES! I DO mind you taking pictures of my garments, if you don't mind.


KIRK:

Sorry. I don't mind at all.......I'll take a very nice photo......if you let me


Tulisa:

NO!



KIRK:

Okay. Bye.


Bystander, AMELIA:

I heard what she whispered. Actually, the store she recommended specializes in ensembles for geriatrics



IN THE DISTANCE, GIRL LOOKS BACK AND HOWL IN LAUGHTER



KIRK:

If she was nearer, I'd call her names.





FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK, KIRK STRIKES UP CONVERSATION WITH AN UNSUSPECTING SHOPPER


KIRK:

Your clothes are amazing, can I take a picture of you?



Anna:

Hell no! That's stealing my style of clothing


KIRK:

STEALING? It's not like I'm in competition with you



Anna:

But you could never dress better than me. So don't even try. just be yourself


KIRK:

Can I atleast know where you buy this amazing outfit.



Anna:

NO!


KIRK:

Please


Anna:

JOG ON! You just might find it.


KIRK:

IMMATURE!



                                                                                  LATER
KIM:

I will not tell you where I buy my clothes!


KIRK:

Do you know anyone who would tell me?



KIM:

Don't be stupid. it doesn't matter where I buy my clothes, you can find something similar in any of your favourite shops.


KIRK:

Thanks.




Are you trying to copy my style?



KIRK:

NO!



okay, I know where you can buy something with a similar look to what I'm wearing now.



KIRK:

I'm not interested in something similar, I'm interested in the brand your'e wearing



Sorry, can't help you then



KIRK:

how selfisf




Cyndi Lauper's interview on SIDEWALK FM, 'People used to throw rocks at me because of my clothes. Now they wanna know where I buy them......You can't stamp out individuality - there's too many of us.'





be original for once KIRK


KIRK:

I'm original, so call me what you like; photo-copy, carbon copy...I don't care. I'm simply admiring and recommending, that's all.



Really. yesterday, i was the only one wearing green on the sidewalk. today, everyone, including you, is in green.


KIRK:

Dumb. we are just observing St Patricks day



Oh i see. so you must be going to one of those irish bars up the sidewalk


KIRK:

yes


KIRK:

by the way, your green kilt look awesome



thanks



KIRK:

just pray the wind dont start to blow




You're jealous of my swagger


PEDESTRIAN:

You're style isn't even your own, Kirk. as soon as you spot a pedestrian in a signature look, you copy it. go and create your own trend. UGH. use your own mind boost creativity. i don'tlike copycats. no one is original but  its far better to create your individual look


KIRK!

Whatever, TWIRK!

NIT IMMITATING sidewalk looks

WADDLING along the sidewalk in quest of styles to recreate and actually recreating them, consumes so much of NIT'S time and energy. Nonetheless, he rifuses to back down when he's irrationally confronted by overly biggety pedestrians who do not wish to be imitated. UGH


BERRY:

I won't beat around the DAMN, bush. I HATE it when pedestrians stare at me. SO IRRITATING!


NIT:

All that rage! GOSH! Relax. Actually, I was just admiring your attire. I think it's all the rage. You looked very approachable, so I'm appalled by your reaction.


BERRY:

If you wanna admire clothes that pedestrians are wearing, go and buy yourself a catalogue. UGH!


NIT:

Don't you feel flattered that I deem your fashion style, so admirable that I wanna recreate it



APPLAUSE



BERRY:

NO. I don't give a damn what you hobgoblins think. You're invading my privacy



LAUGHTER


NIT:

DON'T LAUGH PEOPLE. I'm trying to calm a situation here. Thank you...( to Berry) Everyday you wave the flag for sidewalk fashion.SKY HIGH. Like it or not, you cannot be mad at people for watching what you wear on the sidewalk.


STEVE:

The only way you can do that is by becoming a motorist, they are known for their selfishness....


BERRY:

A Motorist! Don't annoy me further. They are so selfish and BIGGETY. UGH!



Nit:

...The only way you'll see what motorists actually wear, is by watching when they enter or leave their vehicle. There is no joy in that. They are stifling creativity and inspiration. But when a fashionista like you put on your clothes and step out on the sidewalk, it makes us smile


BERRY:

Really!


NIT:

No doubt girl. Yes. I don't mind helping you waving the flag for sidewalk fashion. So please don't be mad at me. My admiration and respect for you is insane.


BERRY:

I'm flattered. I'm happy for you to recreate my sidewalk looks, and if you need fashion tips, don't hesitate to stop me when I walk by.



NIT:

Can I take a picture also?



BERRY:(smiles)

Don't even bother to ask. it's cool.


NIT:

thanks



BERRY:

I'd like to ask one question before you walk off. I can see that you want to go now. If you see me walking on the sidewalk in a coral pink outfit would you recreate it?



NIT:

HELL NO....Kidding.. If I deemed it wearable but too timid to recreate it, then no one would take me serious, would they?

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SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

Ronaldo loves Marni and H&M

Sooner or later, Ronaldo will spot another style on the sidewalk which is worth emulating. In the meantime, he decided to check out the début of the exclusive Marni collection at H&M. He joined hundreds of other fatuous fashion bunnies at 3am in the frezeing cold outside the store.  He knew nothing about Marni but heard its ranges are adorable.

                                         Ronaldo and Jamie, aka Pink Slime

                                                                     2:51AM

Ronaldo: (rang Pink Slime's  door bell, spoke to him through intercom)

Are you ready



Pink Slime: (sleepily)

Oh shit! My alarm did not go off. Sorry, I'll meet you there


Ronaldo:

Okay. Hurry up. There must be tons of people in the queue already.

The incessant downpour makes the sidewalk slippery as an eel. Pedestrians and style starlets queued and strutted carefully. Wet and cold but not short on light entertainment; girls wearing UGG boots, slipping and falling over on the sidewalk.


Ronaldo:

Sorry, H M has no first aids for your bruised knees


                                                                    LAUGHTER


Pink Slime:

Neither will it replace your torn leggings



LAUGHTER



Snooki:

Get a grip you two!

                                                                      6AM


I was expecting to see hundreds of people in the queue at this time of the morning. Not a mere 45. God! I could sleep a bit longer in my warm bed. Ugh!

Incredible! What's the point?


Ronaldo:

The point is you're more likely to get the pieces you want


Winsome:

And you are?


EVERYONE GASPS




CLUBBERS GOING HOME MOCK THE FASHIONISTAS




You lot are insane for queueing up here all night in the cold. Your warm beds are getting cold. GO HOME!

If you say wer're crazy, then youre just jealous

why would i be jealous

we can afford Marni and you cant.

Oh please! The H M Marni collection is for people on a budget

Well, I'll be spending over 500 pounds, for your information.

                                                                       6:49AM



Pink Slime: (shouts from where he belonged - the back of the queue)

Hey! Ronaldo, I wanna get one of those necklaces for my girl friend but they might finish by the time I get inside...



Ronaldo:

 Serve you right. You should have gotten out of your bed when I was passing your house


Pink Slime:

 Please help me


                                                                   PROTEST

Ronaldo:

Sorry Pink Slime , these people will not allow you to jump the queue



Pink Slime:

Just pick up the white flower necklace for me then.


Ronaldo:

 I'll try



Pink Slime:

I would like a pair of the leather sandals. They're drop dead stunning. And one of the blue dresses, one red belt, grey bracelet, PJ shorts...

LOTS OF PUSHING, SHOVING, ELBOWING AND FRANTIC GRABBING WHEN THE DOOR OPENED AT 9AM. Jackets, shoes, bangles, dresses, swimsuits, everything flew off the racks in minutes.


Ronaldo:

 I'm sorry for those who forgot their elbow pads


Pink Slime:

Idiots! Will you share yours...with me?


                                                        9AM
Ronaldo had an appointment with the dentist at 9am. It's the second consecutive time, he would be doing a no-show.


The queue inside H M was endless also. Most of the females had one of the print dresses among their shopping, whereas most of the guys had either the navy jacket or a sweater.

Originally, Ronaldo thought the collection would cater for women only but he was pleasantly surprised to see a few wearable pieces for guys. Among them was a stylish shirt. He swooned over it all night through the window. It was available, too bad, not in his size. S and M only. The navy jacket was completely sold out. UGH!



WINSOME: (grabs last pair of leggings from rack)

Come to mama! All I need is some plexi earrings now.

Sophie: I got all the pieces that I wanted despite coming late, despite the rediculoulsy large number of people who turned up

Well done! I missed out on a few pieces, but I'm happy with what I got. I'll use the rest of the money I planned to spend on other Marni's products; pizza and wine.(giggles) I particularly like the sweater's classic look, plus it's affordable.


I prefer Marni to money

Well, Ronaldo left H M empty-handed. Nevertheless, he was overjoyed. The experience was somethinh to write home about.  A lot of the people in the queue did not know much about Marni. However, its H M launch was just as frenzied and hyped as the Versace/H M collaboration.

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photographs and video by Dani

SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

ZAYN shows off pale denim trousers and short, hooded jacket

JAILBIRD Chris arrives at bus stap. He glances at Zayn and his bad-speller chum Andrew. Andrew trembles like a leaf. They decide to walk. Incidentally, Zayn is in a pale denim trousers, coupled with a short, hooded jacket; the latest additions to his Fearsome and Handsome collection. (photographs by Varitek)

ONLOOKERS ACCOST ZAYNE AS HE STROLLS, TO STATE THEIR CANDID IMPRESSIONS-


SHAMED road sweeper, Celine:

Hey Zayn. Before you leave your house next time, ensure you use a full length mirror to get the right look. I don't have to be a stylist to know how important this is.


Lady Gaga WANNABE:

Future fashion editor, what's up?


JOE:


I love the look. cute and trendy


ZAYNE:

Thanks


Your clothes look so original and stylish. Where did you buy them, if you don't mind.

ZAYN SMILES THINLY

This is Zayn's bad-speller chum, Andrew (Andrew spell 'evening' with an L)






LIMBAUGH:

I saw a girl wearing a similar look yesterday, so I wouldnt say Zayn is original. I wonder who talked him into getting inspiration from a woman.



Seuss:

Stop being mean. Maybe your'e jealous


Limbaugh:


Jealous? (laughs) Don't attempt to give fashion advice because your'e NEVER properly styled.



Seuss:


That's rude





Limbaugh:

I'm just keeping it real

Carol:

This is kinda awesome and delightful. No doubt about it, you know what to wear  on the sidewalk


ZAYN NODS



Anne:


I hope you're not indirectly making fun of his clothes.


Carol:

Shut up DULLARD! Does it sound like I'm INDIRECTLY making fun of his clothes?


Anne:


His jacket looks small and it's way too short? What do you think?

ZAYN AND ANDREW(Andrew claimed his look is original, whereas, Zayn's admitted he got his from the sidewalk)





Hines:


I thought the pedestrian in the mini-skirt and Ugg boots was the worse dressed on the sidewalk today, but the crown belong to you ZAYN. Well done!


ZAYNE SHOWS THE MIDDLE FINGER




GOLDIE:

Your clothes look gorgeous. They are actually the BEST I have seen on the sidewalk . I don't know why a CERTAIN someone would say you're the worst dressed pedestrian. Take no notice.


RYAN:

For the first time Goldie, everyone is telling you, youre looking good, so you think you are a fashionista, a fashion EXPERT. UGH. I beg to defer. I still think his clothes are shit...and your shoes is hideous


Kasabian:

GOLDIE, you got the winning walk and the winning pose, perhaps the winning talk also, but I'm not so sure about your fashion sense.


SNIGGERS




NICK:

Stick to walking and fashion, you do them beautifully. This is my superbowl. Anything you put on is stunning.


Johansson:

I like a lot of his clothing he wears on the sidewalk, but I'm not feeling what he's wearing today. Not revealing anything. Spring is coming need to start showing a little flesh. Sorry


Nick:
(sighs) the clothes are so beautiful. They don't even need a necklace to shine.


I second that


He's properly cloaked up anyway, so a necklace would not be neccessary



He has a long way to go before anyone takes his sidewalk looks seriously.

Does it really matter what YOU think.  just refrain from picking on his sidewalk looks; they are prettier than any pieces I've seen for along while on the sidewalk. Looking forward to his next showcase


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SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

Frankie maid a mental note of Bethenny's resplendent style

PINT-SIZED Donald yells at style starlet, Bethenny, for treading on 'his' sidewalk. She radiates in lace blouson, paired with washed-out denim and vertiginous heels. Frankie maid a mental note of her resplendent style. Onlookers urge her to yell back but her wasp spray works better. 

WHILE SHOPPING FOR HIS LATEST INSPIRED LOOK, Frankie visits the fitting room several times until he finally finds his perfect ensemble: a pale denim trousers, coupled with a short, hooded jacket.

LIU: (trying on dress in fitting room)

Shit!


REBEKAH: (waiting outside fitting room)

You okay inside there?


Yes. Come inside for a minute please


REBEKAH GOES IN


Rebekah;

How can I help. This feels weird. I can't stay long.


No problem. Just take a picture of me in this dress.


why do you need a picture in it now? Isn't it insane?


For my facebook

For your Facebook? We have no time for that. it's best you take all the pictures you want at the party tonight.


I'll not be buying it


How come? It looks lovely on you and we don't have the time to search for another dress.



WHISPERS


GIGGLES



REBEKAH COMES OUT



Katherine:


Why did she need you in the fitting room?


Rebekah:

(whispers) She tore the dress when she tried to take it off.


OH NO! She will have to pay for it. What she gonna do?


I don't know


LIU COMES OUT, RETURNS DRESS TO THE RACK UNDER THE FITTING ROOM ASSISTANT'S GAZE.


Fitting Room Assistant?


How was it?


(blurts out) It did not FIT! (hesitantly) It's a little...tor..too BIG for me


Fitting Room Assistant:

Really(incredulously)





Shopper outside Fitting room

UGH! It stinks around here?



Voice in Fitting Room:

I'm sorry. There is no damn air freshener in here. Can you believe it? And where was the vomit bucket when I needed it?



Shopper: UGH! How disgusting!


FITTING ROOM ASSISTANT:

I detest working in the fitting rooms. HORRID!


TILL OPERATOR:

Everything I know about fashion and public grooming is from the Fitting room. Why the hell didn't they let me work there today. I feel so bored on the damn till. UGH!


Merchandiser:

Could have been worse. Last week, we saw urine streaming out the fitting room while a cusomter was supposedly 'trying on' an item


SHOPPER:

My husband only buys clothes in packets. Very few shoppers wash themselves before trying on clothes






MANAGER:

Open your eyes. Get on your feet. It's does not look good sleeping on the job


Well, we have just one customer now, and he's in the changing room. and I wasn't sleeping; just meditating.



SHOPPER COMES OUT, HEADS STRAIGHT TO THE EXIT


MANAGER CHECKS FITTING ROOM



Manager: ( fitting room assistant)

She forgets her dress. Call her back!



Fitting Assistant: (examines item)

That was'nt the item she entered the fitting room with




MANAGER:

Well, find something else to do until its gets busy


Fitting room assistant:

(sarcastically) like what? SQUATS?


SHOPPER: (interrupts)

Can you help me find a size EXTRA SMALL dress, please?

Who are you buying it for?

(sarcasm) My boyfriend...I am buying it for myself, you DULLARD!

(points) Look on that rack over there. Good Luck! (chuckles) Even models from Milan Fashion Week are likely to find anything over there.

How rude!You belong in the back, cleaning up after everyone else, NOT at the fitting room looking after respectable clients

I have news for you. We do nopt stock small EXTRA SMALL, and even if we do, you honestly believe you could fit into it? I DON'T!



                                                                 


                                                                 SCREAMS

Get out!

I'm sorry but you should have locked the door

PERVERT!

I'm just as embarrassed as you.




GIRL WAITS OUTSIDE FITTING ROOM FOR HER PARTNER. SHE'S GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION FROM THE MALE SHOPPERS TRYING ON CLOTHES





Assistant went inside fitting room and lock the door.



Manager: Where is Matt?



EVERYONE SHAKES HEAD



MANAGER:

SO HELP ME GOD. If  he is taking an unauthorized break in the toilet, AGAIN, I swear I'm gonna send him home. Let me have look.


SHOPPER: Have a look in the fitting room instead


HOODED SHOPPER: SNITCH!


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SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

VORDERMAN parades a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater

VORDERMAN is an appurtenance on the sidewalk. All other pedestrians have equal chances of seeing him parade pieces from his Fearsome and Handsome collection. He hates the attenshion but like Zelda Kaplan, he's living the dream. In this fashion, he'd like to go, provided his outfit looks good.

PEDESTRIANS AND ONLOOKERS GIVE THEIR RANDOM VERDICTS AS VORDERMAN PASSES BY



Anna:

I feel sorry for you if you honestly believe that sweater is smoking hot.. it demonstrates your TOTAL lack of fashion sense. UGH!



Braun:


It's looks very expensive though


Ireland:


He's just walking but his clothes are rocking and rolling



Braun:

It sounds better if you say 'he's just walking but his clothes are doing the talking.'


Anna:

SAYS WHO? UGH!

(laughs) What the hell are you wearing?

Shut up! Your'e too empty-headed to know anything about fashion

You call that fashion?

Boy! that new shirt looks good; a gorgeous creation indeed


it;s called a sweater, you blockhead

It's on top form

 It's absolutely gorgeous


VORDERMAN:

(laughs) So was the price...I've sacrificed other things for it



Lots of kudos. You know how to dress. Hope you didn't compromise the kids happiness


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SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/