KIRK accosts pedestrians about their styles

IF you do mind someone remodelling your look, NEVER let Kirk sees you in modish clothes on the sidewalk. Ensconce yourself. his Fearsome and Handsome collection, is desperete for some new pieces. So desperete, he resorts to accosting pedestrians directly.



KIRK:


I like what your'e wearing, where can I buy them?


Pedestrian, Tulisa, looks at him quizically.



KIRK:

...For my sister....it's her birthday..today.


Tulisa:

Oh..Looking out for your sister, eh! I love your style.....I got this ensemble from a new shop, recently opened. It's a exclusive shop. I can only whisper it's name.


KIRK:

Okay. Go on then


Tulisa WHISPERS



KIRK:

Do they have the outfit in the colours you're wearing?


Tulisa:

 no. Only tangerine and pistacchio


KIRK:

i don't mind. any colour will do.


Tulisa  TURNS TO LEAVE



KIRK:

Wait! You've been so kind. Do you mind if I take a picture of what you're wearing.


Tulisa:

YES!


KIRK:

Okay, strike a pose.


Tulisa:

YES! I DO mind you taking pictures of my garments, if you don't mind.


KIRK:

Sorry. I don't mind at all.......I'll take a very nice photo......if you let me


Tulisa:

NO!



KIRK:

Okay. Bye.


Bystander, AMELIA:

I heard what she whispered. Actually, the store she recommended specializes in ensembles for geriatrics



IN THE DISTANCE, GIRL LOOKS BACK AND HOWL IN LAUGHTER



KIRK:

If she was nearer, I'd call her names.





FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK, KIRK STRIKES UP CONVERSATION WITH AN UNSUSPECTING SHOPPER


KIRK:

Your clothes are amazing, can I take a picture of you?



Anna:

Hell no! That's stealing my style of clothing


KIRK:

STEALING? It's not like I'm in competition with you



Anna:

But you could never dress better than me. So don't even try. just be yourself


KIRK:

Can I atleast know where you buy this amazing outfit.



Anna:

NO!


KIRK:

Please


Anna:

JOG ON! You just might find it.


KIRK:

IMMATURE!



                                                                                  LATER
KIM:

I will not tell you where I buy my clothes!


KIRK:

Do you know anyone who would tell me?



KIM:

Don't be stupid. it doesn't matter where I buy my clothes, you can find something similar in any of your favourite shops.


KIRK:

Thanks.




Are you trying to copy my style?



KIRK:

NO!



okay, I know where you can buy something with a similar look to what I'm wearing now.



KIRK:

I'm not interested in something similar, I'm interested in the brand your'e wearing



Sorry, can't help you then



KIRK:

how selfisf




Cyndi Lauper's interview on SIDEWALK FM, 'People used to throw rocks at me because of my clothes. Now they wanna know where I buy them......You can't stamp out individuality - there's too many of us.'





be original for once KIRK


KIRK:

I'm original, so call me what you like; photo-copy, carbon copy...I don't care. I'm simply admiring and recommending, that's all.



Really. yesterday, i was the only one wearing green on the sidewalk. today, everyone, including you, is in green.


KIRK:

Dumb. we are just observing St Patricks day



Oh i see. so you must be going to one of those irish bars up the sidewalk


KIRK:

yes


KIRK:

by the way, your green kilt look awesome



thanks



KIRK:

just pray the wind dont start to blow




You're jealous of my swagger


PEDESTRIAN:

You're style isn't even your own, Kirk. as soon as you spot a pedestrian in a signature look, you copy it. go and create your own trend. UGH. use your own mind boost creativity. i don'tlike copycats. no one is original but  its far better to create your individual look


KIRK!

Whatever, TWIRK!

Ronaldo loves Marni and H&M

Sooner or later, Ronaldo will spot another style on the sidewalk which is worth emulating. In the meantime, he decided to check out the début of the exclusive Marni collection at H&M. He joined hundreds of other fatuous fashion bunnies at 3am in the frezeing cold outside the store.  He knew nothing about Marni but heard its ranges are adorable.

                                         Ronaldo and Jamie, aka Pink Slime

                                                                     2:51AM

Ronaldo: (rang Pink Slime's  door bell, spoke to him through intercom)

Are you ready



Pink Slime: (sleepily)

Oh shit! My alarm did not go off. Sorry, I'll meet you there


Ronaldo:

Okay. Hurry up. There must be tons of people in the queue already.

The incessant downpour makes the sidewalk slippery as an eel. Pedestrians and style starlets queued and strutted carefully. Wet and cold but not short on light entertainment; girls wearing UGG boots, slipping and falling over on the sidewalk.


Ronaldo:

Sorry, H M has no first aids for your bruised knees


                                                                    LAUGHTER


Pink Slime:

Neither will it replace your torn leggings



LAUGHTER



Snooki:

Get a grip you two!

                                                                      6AM


I was expecting to see hundreds of people in the queue at this time of the morning. Not a mere 45. God! I could sleep a bit longer in my warm bed. Ugh!

Incredible! What's the point?


Ronaldo:

The point is you're more likely to get the pieces you want


Winsome:

And you are?


EVERYONE GASPS




CLUBBERS GOING HOME MOCK THE FASHIONISTAS




You lot are insane for queueing up here all night in the cold. Your warm beds are getting cold. GO HOME!

If you say wer're crazy, then youre just jealous

why would i be jealous

we can afford Marni and you cant.

Oh please! The H M Marni collection is for people on a budget

Well, I'll be spending over 500 pounds, for your information.

                                                                       6:49AM



Pink Slime: (shouts from where he belonged - the back of the queue)

Hey! Ronaldo, I wanna get one of those necklaces for my girl friend but they might finish by the time I get inside...



Ronaldo:

 Serve you right. You should have gotten out of your bed when I was passing your house


Pink Slime:

 Please help me


                                                                   PROTEST

Ronaldo:

Sorry Pink Slime , these people will not allow you to jump the queue



Pink Slime:

Just pick up the white flower necklace for me then.


Ronaldo:

 I'll try



Pink Slime:

I would like a pair of the leather sandals. They're drop dead stunning. And one of the blue dresses, one red belt, grey bracelet, PJ shorts...

LOTS OF PUSHING, SHOVING, ELBOWING AND FRANTIC GRABBING WHEN THE DOOR OPENED AT 9AM. Jackets, shoes, bangles, dresses, swimsuits, everything flew off the racks in minutes.


Ronaldo:

 I'm sorry for those who forgot their elbow pads


Pink Slime:

Idiots! Will you share yours...with me?


                                                        9AM
Ronaldo had an appointment with the dentist at 9am. It's the second consecutive time, he would be doing a no-show.


The queue inside H M was endless also. Most of the females had one of the print dresses among their shopping, whereas most of the guys had either the navy jacket or a sweater.

Originally, Ronaldo thought the collection would cater for women only but he was pleasantly surprised to see a few wearable pieces for guys. Among them was a stylish shirt. He swooned over it all night through the window. It was available, too bad, not in his size. S and M only. The navy jacket was completely sold out. UGH!



WINSOME: (grabs last pair of leggings from rack)

Come to mama! All I need is some plexi earrings now.

Sophie: I got all the pieces that I wanted despite coming late, despite the rediculoulsy large number of people who turned up

Well done! I missed out on a few pieces, but I'm happy with what I got. I'll use the rest of the money I planned to spend on other Marni's products; pizza and wine.(giggles) I particularly like the sweater's classic look, plus it's affordable.


I prefer Marni to money

Well, Ronaldo left H M empty-handed. Nevertheless, he was overjoyed. The experience was somethinh to write home about.  A lot of the people in the queue did not know much about Marni. However, its H M launch was just as frenzied and hyped as the Versace/H M collaboration.

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photographs and video by Dani

SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/

Showcasing red and black outfit on sidewalk

NUMBERLESS motorists and pedestrians will watch Kevin parade the first outfit from his Fearsome and Handsome collection. It will not be the first thyme he's strutting on the sidewalk, and he will be doing so for a mere 9 minutes. Nevertheless, he is as trepidatious as hell.

BOBBY:

Stop PREENING on the sidewalk. People are watching.

KEVIN:

Let them watch. I have to ensure these clothes look good, so leave me alone.

BOBBY:

And what the hell is that? tuck the t shirt in the jeans

KEVIN:

You're not my dad!

BOBBY:

Thank God, I'm only your uncle. I said TUCK IN YOUR T SHIRT

KEVIN:

Youre not my lecturer...Look how many other pedestrians going about their business without tucking in their shirts. UGH!

BOBBY:

OKAY! If you wanna look like a damn tool on the sidewalk. That's your damn business.

KEVIN:

I'm just walking on a sidewalk NOT trying to get into a damn club

BOBBY:

If the shirt, especially a black one, has buttons all the way down, then you MUST TUCK IN at all times. Got that?

KEVIN:

Yes. But everyone can see that I'm wearing a RED t shirt, not a black one.

BOBBY:

Tucking also help in disguising a voluptuous waistline.

KEVIN:

Are you calling me fat?

BOBBY:

hELL NO. Just voluptuous.


LAUGHTER

KEVIN:

Whatever!  How about tucking in my shirt, zip me up and buttoning my trousers?

                                                            KEVIN AND HIS CHUM COTTON

KEVIN:

I paid only 25% of the original prices for these clothing.


Cotton:

Are you serious? How come?


KEVIN:

The shop assistant offer me discounts on the sales prices.


Cotton:

You are so lucky. I think she loves you.


KEVIN:

Who could blame her?


LAUGHTER


Cotton:

Anyway, it's very cold on the sidewalk, you'll need a coat.

KEVIN:

I'll be fine

Cotton:

Are you crazy? You'll freeze to death.

KEVIN:

What would you say about the hundreds of  half-naked shoppers queueing up in front of Top Shop for free clothes?

Cotton:

No!


KEVIN:

GO SEE FOR YOURSELF! They are blocking the whole sidewalk. Two hundred metres from here.

Cotton:

So it's looks above practicality! What is the world coming to?


KEVIN:

I wish I knew.

KEVIN IS ACCOSTED BY JOGGER, Derek, WHO SLOWS DOWN FOR A CHAT

DEREK:

Hey! your red and black clothes look familiar.

EVERYONE GASPS

KEVIN:

They are mine! Are you insinuating that I stole them?

DEREK:

Are you in Simon Cowell's RED OR BLACK show?

KEVIN:

(stutters) I..I..I AM

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

KEVIN:

In fact, I'm just walking to the studio to shoot an audience scene. So, if you'll excuse me

APPLAUSE

BOBBY:

Okay, if you want others to see your gucci belt, you MUST tuck in the front of your t shirt

PASSER BY:

Sorry to interrupt. You look is just fine. I admire a man who knows when not to tuck his T shirt in his jeans.The outfit looks so good, it needs no jewellery to jazz it up. Good for you.


KEVIN:

Thank you!

BOBBY:

 It is NOT a good look.

KEVIN:

Well, I think it looks just fine. I am not going to a job interview or or to some fancy place with strict dress code. They make me tuck my shirt in at work. I hate that SO MUCH.

BOBBY:

That tight jeans looks are so wrong. Aren't you afraid it will show up your backside too much?


KEVIN:

Will you ever stop? GRRR!


PASSERBY:

It's better for a guy to wear tight jeans than having his trousers falling off his backside, showing his under-pants...Give me a guy in baggy jeans anytime

BOBBY:

Teaming those together do not look good. If you had paired them with some jewellery, the outfit would have have looked more original and chic.


KEVIN:

Shut up! What does minnows like you know about sidewalk looks?


BOBBY:

Are you gonna tweeze your eyebrows as well?


KEVIN:

You have distracted me for 8 minutes. Thanks for the support 'uncle'. I would like to finish th last minute on my own, if you don't mind.

BOBBY:

I was leaving for the London Fashion Week show, anyway. GOODBYE!

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Adding red and black clothes to Fearsome and Handsome collection

The sidewalk boasts a cacophony of styles and colours. It's the model place to spot and recreate chic looks. It inspires Pat  to buy a red and black outfit to add to his Fearsome and Handsome collection. Other pedestrians will sea its showcase on Sunday.

Pat concludes that if the store manager was so impressed with the 15 year old shopper who pronounced that another shopper's style was Fearsome and Handsome, then it must be a great name for his wardrobe.

On his way home, Pat notices that quite a few pedestrians were sporting tangerine and pastels colours. No doubt, these are likely to become hot hues in spring.

As as soon as he spots a look on the sidewalk which teams these hues with the right colours and accessories, then his red shirt will be getting some company.

...............................................................................

SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/