-scale=1.0" : "width=1100"' name='viewport'/>scale=1.0,minimum Sidewalk Darlings: Anna
Showing posts with label Anna. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anna. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 September 2012

London Fashion Week starts/McQ store opens


HULLABALOO mounts on the sidewalk bench among fashion-fiend Satnav and his droll sidekicks, ATT and Anna. They can hardly wait to see London Fashion Week kick off and the McQ Flagship store opens on Dover street, Saville Row. Today.


                                                    SATNAV:
I'm gonna miss streaming New York Fashion Week show....But London Fashion Week starts TODAY! Hurrah!


                                                   ANNA
Next, Milian and Paris.....It will be sad if we don't make it to London fashion week.


                                                 ATT
Where are we gonna tickets now?


                                                 ANNA
If we miss it, we can always go to the one next February. London Fashion Week is gonna be crazy. Just imagine the feeling of working there as models. Awesome.


                                                  SATNAV
Dream on. Your'e talking PUFFERY.....


ANNA
What?

Anna, YOU can go in February, I'm going TODAY.....Talk about London Fashion Week, Last week, I overheard passers-by talking about Alexander McQueen brand opening a menswear store in Saville Row.


              ATT
Awesome.


             ANNA
So are we definitely heading to TWO events tonight then?


              ATT
The more the merrier!


             ANNA
Awesome. I'll bring my boyfriend them.


SATNAV AND ATT EXCHANGE BEMUSED LOOKS


                                   SATNAV:
Anyway!!!!!Who will volunteer to iron my London Fashion Week outfit?


ATT
Me!



 ANNA
You are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I volunteer for organizations, not individuals.

ATT
Incidentally, what will you be wearing to McQ store opening?


ANNA
(taunts)
The same outfit he'll be wearing to London fashion Week, of course.


SATNAV
Speak for yourself....For your information, my suitcase, is running out of space...


ATT
ouch!!!!!!


ANNA
Shut up.

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Tuesday, 20 March 2012

KIRK accosts pedestrians about their styles


IF you do mind someone remodelling your look, NEVER let Kirk sees you in modish clothes on the sidewalk. Ensconce yourself. his Fearsome and Handsome collection, is desperete for some new pieces. So desperete, he resorts to accosting pedestrians directly.



KIRK:


I like what your'e wearing, where can I buy them?


Pedestrian, Tulisa, looks at him quizically.



KIRK:

...For my sister....it's her birthday..today.


Tulisa:

Oh..Looking out for your sister, eh! I love your style.....I got this ensemble from a new shop, recently opened. It's a exclusive shop. I can only whisper it's name.


KIRK:

Okay. Go on then


Tulisa WHISPERS



KIRK:

Do they have the outfit in the colours you're wearing?


Tulisa:

 no. Only tangerine and pistacchio


KIRK:

i don't mind. any colour will do.


Tulisa  TURNS TO LEAVE



KIRK:

Wait! You've been so kind. Do you mind if I take a picture of what you're wearing.


Tulisa:

YES!


KIRK:

Okay, strike a pose.


Tulisa:

YES! I DO mind you taking pictures of my garments, if you don't mind.


KIRK:

Sorry. I don't mind at all.......I'll take a very nice photo......if you let me


Tulisa:

NO!



KIRK:

Okay. Bye.


Bystander, AMELIA:

I heard what she whispered. Actually, the store she recommended specializes in ensembles for geriatrics



IN THE DISTANCE, GIRL LOOKS BACK AND HOWL IN LAUGHTER



KIRK:

If she was nearer, I'd call her names.





FURTHER DOWN THE SIDEWALK, KIRK STRIKES UP CONVERSATION WITH AN UNSUSPECTING SHOPPER


KIRK:

Your clothes are amazing, can I take a picture of you?



Anna:

Hell no! That's stealing my style of clothing


KIRK:

STEALING? It's not like I'm in competition with you



Anna:

But you could never dress better than me. So don't even try. just be yourself


KIRK:

Can I atleast know where you buy this amazing outfit.



Anna:

NO!


KIRK:

Please


Anna:

JOG ON! You just might find it.


KIRK:

IMMATURE!



                                                                                  LATER
KIM:

I will not tell you where I buy my clothes!


KIRK:

Do you know anyone who would tell me?



KIM:

Don't be stupid. it doesn't matter where I buy my clothes, you can find something similar in any of your favourite shops.


KIRK:

Thanks.




Are you trying to copy my style?



KIRK:

NO!



okay, I know where you can buy something with a similar look to what I'm wearing now.



KIRK:

I'm not interested in something similar, I'm interested in the brand your'e wearing



Sorry, can't help you then



KIRK:

how selfisf




Cyndi Lauper's interview on SIDEWALK FM, 'People used to throw rocks at me because of my clothes. Now they wanna know where I buy them......You can't stamp out individuality - there's too many of us.'





be original for once KIRK


KIRK:

I'm original, so call me what you like; photo-copy, carbon copy...I don't care. I'm simply admiring and recommending, that's all.



Really. yesterday, i was the only one wearing green on the sidewalk. today, everyone, including you, is in green.


KIRK:

Dumb. we are just observing St Patricks day



Oh i see. so you must be going to one of those irish bars up the sidewalk


KIRK:

yes


KIRK:

by the way, your green kilt look awesome



thanks



KIRK:

just pray the wind dont start to blow




You're jealous of my swagger


PEDESTRIAN:

You're style isn't even your own, Kirk. as soon as you spot a pedestrian in a signature look, you copy it. go and create your own trend. UGH. use your own mind boost creativity. i don'tlike copycats. no one is original but  its far better to create your individual look


KIRK!

Whatever, TWIRK!

Friday, 24 February 2012

VORDERMAN parades a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater

VORDERMAN is an appurtenance on the sidewalk. All other pedestrians have equal chances of seeing him parade pieces from his Fearsome and Handsome collection. He hates the attenshion but like Zelda Kaplan, he's living the dream. In this fashion, he'd like to go, provided his outfit looks good.




PEDESTRIANS AND ONLOOKERS GIVE THEIR RANDOM VERDICTS AS VORDERMAN PASSES BY



Anna:

I feel sorry for you if you honestly believe that sweater is smoking hot.. it demonstrates your TOTAL lack of fashion sense. UGH!



Braun:


It's looks very expensive though


Ireland:


He's just walking but his clothes are rocking and rolling



Braun:

It sounds better if you say 'he's just walking but his clothes are doing the talking.'


Anna:

SAYS WHO? UGH!







(laughs) What the hell are you wearing?

Shut up! Your'e too empty-headed to know anything about fashion

You call that fashion?





Boy! that new shirt looks good; a gorgeous creation indeed


it;s called a sweater, you blockhead

It's on top form





 It's absolutely gorgeous


VORDERMAN:

(laughs) So was the price...I've sacrificed other things for it



Lots of kudos. You know how to dress. Hope you didn't compromise the kids happiness


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Wednesday, 22 February 2012

a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater

The clothes on the sidewalk's sale rack looks magnetic. However, Peter finds the leopard print cigarette trousers, paired with a camisole and knitted sweater in claret, on a pedestrian, far more magnetic. He can't weight to shop for something similar to add to his Fearsome and Handsome collection.



Pedestrian: (skipping with joy, slips on slippery sidewalk)

I passed my driving lessons. YESS!

Danica:

Finally. Well done! Everyone better stay the hell of the sidewalk now.


GIGGLES




ALL MY SECRETS by ONEREPUBLIC, POURS FROM THE STORE'S CEILING. Peter wanders around in quest for his newly inspired pieces.


Cassidy:

Excuse me. do you have any evening dresses?



WALSH:

Sorry. I do not work here! I'm just waiting on my friend who is returning a Stone Roses t-shirt she bought today.


Cassidy:

Sorry to bother you then


WALSH:

It's not a problem. Sorry if i sound a little irritated. your'e the second person to mistook me for a shop assistant.


Cassidy:

Sorry. I understand.


WALSH:

Try customer service




FOCUS WITCHES TO.....



So what will you be giving up for lent?

Shopping.

Shopping?  I thought you enjoy spending time with me

I do! But.. I will not have any money left if I continue like this

...Who cares?...you have to treat yourself. You work hard.

I know. I need to stop over do it. I work hard but I do not earn enough...This scarf. I don't need it. But the moment I saw it, I felt I had to buy it. So I did. UGH! You have a great job so you can spend as you please.




FOCUS WITCHES TO.....

I like the clothes here in Forever 21

Grand dad, lets go! (frog march grand dad out the exit)




FOCUS SWITCHES TO....


....that's the most exciting news from London fashion Week!


This is madness, why would Sophia Cahill do a thing like that


I don't know. Why would the designer let a pregnant model strutt her stuff.... her stuff on the catwalk wearing only a hat?


Well, he admitted he just wanted to create a hype


How creative! What a way to make a fashion statement?


What is the fashion world coming to


You call that fashion


That's passion. Thumbs up! I guess modelling naked is the new...


The new what?


I Don't know...thing?


Sophia's naked ambition


She is brave, that's all I know


Hats off to her.


LAUGHTER


I guess anyone could be that brave if he/she has little or no fat and little or no cellulite


True


Not me


Well, Your'e not exactly model material, are you?


LAUGHTER


Whatever! I just don't think ANYONE has the right to walk naked on the catwalk. What's the point of that. Models are supposed to be showcasing fashion, not pregnancy, not nakedness.


Calm down. You must learn to appreciate art.


Art? Don't get me started, I'm warning you!





FOCUS WITCHES TO.....


so how much you planning to spend in here

200 pounds

200 pounds? In primark?..That will be a record for a single shopper.are you planning to buy the whole store




FOCUS WITCHES TO.....



That's a good look

I'm not sure

Honey, you said the same thing when I suggested leather clothing to you. Now I just can't get you out of them

True. But I'm afraid, your'e gonna find it hard to convince me that a flowery tie suits me. NO WAY!

All Your friends wear ties.

they would all laugh at me if they see me in one though, especially this one

Your friends are weired. The problem with you, is you're eager to gp shopping but you never know what you want and when I try to help, you just don't listen. What's the point?

Are you sure it looks good?

it makes you look HOTTER

I'm not sure.. about leaving without it



FOCUS SWITCHES TO.....




I like the look


Will you have it?

No. It did not fit...But I'll have this.

what's that?

A condom. I found it in the dressing room

You're so lucky




FOCUS WITCHES TO.....sound of alarm


Shopper runs out off dressing room half naked. KIDS SCREAM


Shop Assistant: Please stay where you are. THIS IS JUST A ROUTINE TEST




Peter falls in love....with a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater. On his way to the till with it, he picks up a denim trousers to pair it with.


APPROACHES TILL WITH SWEATER


SHOP ASSISTANT:

WHy don't you try on the sweater?


PETER:

Can't be bothered. Too many people queueing up for the dressing room. Think I wasted too much time already wandering around the store in search of this inspired look. It should be fine though

You sure?






TILL OPERATOR SHOUTS OUT THE SIZES FOR EACH PIECE OF CLOTHING


Till Operator: blouse LARGE...skirt, EXTRA LARGE

CUSTOMER; Do You mind? It;s not necessary to tell everyne in the store what size clothes I wear

Till Operator: Allow me to do my job please

Customer. You loud mouth. You should be working at a fish stall on the sidewalk




TWO GIRLS WOLF WHISTLE AT MALE SHOPPER. HIS GIRLFRIEND SHOW THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER



TILL OPERATOR:

that will be $325 pleaase.


SHOPPER:

You can take them back. I don't need them anymore

What?

What's the point of buying them when they willnot fit me in a few months time

You plan to lose some weight

No. I plan to put on some weight





Shopper: (tries on scarf)

(to other shopper) what's your name?


Shopper:

Hart


My name is Anna. Nice to meet you Hart. (chuckles) Don't you think I look royal in this scarf?



Hart:

Pardon?


Anna:

Never mind




AT TILL



Anna:

Do you think that dress I bought last monday was too small for me?


Mark:

I do not remember what you bought last saturday



ANNA GOING BANANAS



Anna:

How can you NOT remember. I'm  a REGULAR customer here. You said I was special....

Mark:

...I'm sorry but I can't remember what our customers purchase, especially after several days.



Anna:

USELESS! I should take my custom elsewhere...(scurries away to the skirt section, forgets her phone at the till, till operator looks at it, then at her, and frowns)



Anna:

(Hart) What do you think I could pair this skirt with?


Hart:

a round neck t shirt, maybe



Anna:

What about this scarf?


Hart:

Yea, that could work as well



Anna:

Are you sure?


Hart:

NO! Ask the shop assistant for help. I'm trying to do some shopping, if you don't mind.



ANNA MARCHES IN A FIT TO THE FITTING ROOM WITH SKIRT




SHOP ASSISTANT: (mutters to  Mark)

That woman is a DAMN nightmare


Mark:

I know. That's why the others hide whenever she is here. The next time, you wont see me until she has left. i swear.


I know she spends alot more than our average customers, but we have to work TOO hard for it. UGH!


ANNA PHONE RINGS


ANNA RUNS OUT ON SHOP FLOOR IN HER UNDERWEAR,  PICKS UP THE PHONE THEN DISSAPEARS IN FITTING ROOM



HORRIFIED LOOKS, SUPPRESSED GIGGLES FROM HUNDREDS OF CUSTOMERS AND SCORES OF WORKERS


FEW MINUTES LATER



Anna: (pokes head through fitting room curtains)

Can you do up my zipper please?

Brooke:


Sure



Anna:

So how's your sex life?



Brooke:

What?


Anna:

You heard me.



AT TILL,  Brooke  PLACES SKIRT AND SCARF IN BAG.


Anna:

Can you put them in another bag please?





Brooke:


We have no other bags, I'm afraid. What's the matter?


Anna:

Can't you see the image of a man and a woman kissing on it. I CAN'T BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH THAT.



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