LOUIS push-chair's wheels crashes into a dog's faeces. She screams at Harper, the dog's owner, who takes a last minute flight down the sidewalk.
Roller-skating by, Demam, aka the Two Hit Wonder, whistles the melody to the latest fashion song, he's writing; DUNGAREE
(sings)
YES, I need another dungaree
So I'm going on a shopping spree
Roller-skate with me
Or just walk with me
I hope it's 'buy one, get one free'
So I end up buying three
Roller skate with me
Or just walk with me
(raps)
YES, I need another dungaree
So I'm going on a shopping spree
Roller-skate with me
Or just walk with me
I hope it's 'buy one, get one free'
So I end up buying three
Roller skate with me
Or just walk with me
If you think I'm fashion crazy
I think your'e fashion lazy
(sings)
YES, I need another dungaree
So I'm going on a shopping spree
Roller-skate with me
Or just walk with me
I hope it's 'buy one, get one free'
So I end up buying three
Roller skate with me
Or just walk with me
(raPS)
Dungarees are hot
On the sidewalk
Just take a look on the sidewalk
Teamed with shorts or straw hats
...............................................
words by Zokaya Kamara
Follow us https://twitter.com/zokayakamara
please LIKE and share this page https://www.facebook.com/TheSidewalkDarlings/
please FOLLOW http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Friday, 2 August 2013
Sunday, 4 November 2012
Is it me, or is winter-clothes shopping a pain?
PERHAPS it's nice and warm in your heart but by the looks of what pedestrians are wearing today, winter is in full oscillation. It gets colder and wetter each day. Nevertheless, Justin, Kristen and Kate are still upbeat about hanging out at their favorite sidewalk haunt; the bench.
 |
| Long sleeved, slim fit cardigan that Justin is wearing on the sidewalk |
KRISTEN
I love your cardigan, Justin. It looks so edgy, modern and splendiferous...That's a good investment for the winter season.
KATE
It's so cool and good-looking. Can't believe it's a male's cardigan looking so AWESOME.
JUSTIN
(beams, fishes out Iphone and shows an image of the item)
Thanks girl and girl...
KRISTEN
(to Kate)
Splendiferous? I would'nt go that far. SPLENDID will suffice...Incidentally, Kate, that's a great, flamboyant flower lace cardigan you got on...Where did you get it?...So gorgeous. And desirable, covetable...
KATE
(quips, fishes out Iphone and show image of the cardigan)
Thanks Sorry you can't have this one I'm wearing. It's taken...And I wont let you take it off me either...
LAUGHTER
JUSTIN
You two need to get a.....bench. your OWN bench...
KATE
That's something to think about...By the way, KRISTEN, have you bought your winter coat as yet?
KRISTEN:
I still don't have a winter coat. I guess I'm not ready to strangle myself in a turtleneck. UGH!
JUSTIN
That's mad. It's freezing on the sidewalk, and you dressing like it's still summer. Oh my gosh!
KATE
Kristen, your'e MAD. You wanna get ill or something?...
KRISTEN
I'm sure you both have ONLY winter pieces in your capsule collection. However, mine contains more summer clothes than winter ones.
JUSTIN
What?
KATE
You are madder than I initially thought.
JUSTIN
Is it just me, or is winter shopping a PAIN. I can't be bothered.
KATE
(exchanges derisive looks with Justin)
IT'S JUST YOU! You are gonna freeze to...illness. Summer is officially over, for your information.
PEDESTRIAN WALKS PASS THE BENCH IN A HOODED WINTER COAT
KATE
(gushes)
Ahh! She look so cosy, comfortable and warm, I'd be tempted to sleep in that awesome coat....
KRISTEN
...That's a load of filth...If she had use a peplum belt as a cinch around the garment, it would have look more flattering.
Winter clothes shopping at the mall for some nice warm clothes for you.
KATE:
I'm coming also.
KRISTEN
Thanks guy and girl, but there is nothing out there for me. It's quite unlikely, you will find anything that I really like. Seriously. Besides, I'm not ready to look like a fur collared Michelin mannequin.
KATE
Shut up!
JUSTIN
I know what shop, Topshop, has some ultra-chic winter stuffs...It never fails whether it's winter, summer spring or autumn
KATE
....Ear muffs, boots, umbrella. Oh, and JACKET!
JUSTIN
Brilliant! SOunds like today gonna be my lucky day. Yipeeeee!!!!!
............................................
please LIKE http://www.facebook.com/allthatrage
please follow and share
SIDEWALK Darling http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/
www.twitter.com/zokayakamaraLtd
please share and follow this blog; SIDEWALK LOOKS
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater
The clothes on the sidewalk's sale rack looks magnetic. However, Peter finds the leopard print cigarette trousers, paired with a camisole and knitted sweater in claret, on a pedestrian, far more magnetic. He can't weight to shop for something similar to add to his Fearsome and Handsome collection.
Pedestrian: (skipping with joy, slips on slippery sidewalk)
I passed my driving lessons. YESS!
Danica:
Finally. Well done! Everyone better stay the hell of the sidewalk now.
GIGGLES
ALL MY SECRETS by ONEREPUBLIC, POURS FROM THE STORE'S CEILING. Peter wanders around in quest for his newly inspired pieces.
Cassidy:
Excuse me. do you have any evening dresses?
WALSH:
Sorry. I do not work here! I'm just waiting on my friend who is returning a Stone Roses t-shirt she bought today.
Cassidy:
Sorry to bother you then
WALSH:
It's not a problem. Sorry if i sound a little irritated. your'e the second person to mistook me for a shop assistant.
Cassidy:
Sorry. I understand.
WALSH:
Try customer service
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
So what will you be giving up for lent?
Shopping.
Shopping? I thought you enjoy spending time with me
I do! But.. I will not have any money left if I continue like this
...Who cares?...you have to treat yourself. You work hard.
I know. I need to stop over do it. I work hard but I do not earn enough...This scarf. I don't need it. But the moment I saw it, I felt I had to buy it. So I did. UGH! You have a great job so you can spend as you please.
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
I like the clothes here in Forever 21
Grand dad, lets go! (frog march grand dad out the exit)
FOCUS SWITCHES TO....
....that's the most exciting news from London fashion Week!
This is madness, why would Sophia Cahill do a thing like that
I don't know. Why would the designer let a pregnant model strutt her stuff.... her stuff on the catwalk wearing only a hat?
Well, he admitted he just wanted to create a hype
How creative! What a way to make a fashion statement?
What is the fashion world coming to
You call that fashion
That's passion. Thumbs up! I guess modelling naked is the new...
The new what?
I Don't know...thing?
Sophia's naked ambition
She is brave, that's all I know
Hats off to her.
LAUGHTER
I guess anyone could be that brave if he/she has little or no fat and little or no cellulite
True
Not me
Well, Your'e not exactly model material, are you?
LAUGHTER
Whatever! I just don't think ANYONE has the right to walk naked on the catwalk. What's the point of that. Models are supposed to be showcasing fashion, not pregnancy, not nakedness.
Calm down. You must learn to appreciate art.
Art? Don't get me started, I'm warning you!
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
so how much you planning to spend in here
200 pounds
200 pounds? In primark?..That will be a record for a single shopper.are you planning to buy the whole store
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
That's a good look
I'm not sure
Honey, you said the same thing when I suggested leather clothing to you. Now I just can't get you out of them
True. But I'm afraid, your'e gonna find it hard to convince me that a flowery tie suits me. NO WAY!
All Your friends wear ties.
they would all laugh at me if they see me in one though, especially this one
Your friends are weired. The problem with you, is you're eager to gp shopping but you never know what you want and when I try to help, you just don't listen. What's the point?
Are you sure it looks good?
it makes you look HOTTER
I'm not sure.. about leaving without it
FOCUS SWITCHES TO.....
I like the look
Will you have it?
No. It did not fit...But I'll have this.
what's that?
A condom. I found it in the dressing room
You're so lucky
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....sound of alarm
Shopper runs out off dressing room half naked. KIDS SCREAM
Shop Assistant: Please stay where you are. THIS IS JUST A ROUTINE TEST
Peter falls in love....with a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater. On his way to the till with it, he picks up a denim trousers to pair it with.
APPROACHES TILL WITH SWEATER
SHOP ASSISTANT:
WHy don't you try on the sweater?
PETER:
Can't be bothered. Too many people queueing up for the dressing room. Think I wasted too much time already wandering around the store in search of this inspired look. It should be fine though
You sure?
TILL OPERATOR SHOUTS OUT THE SIZES FOR EACH PIECE OF CLOTHING
Till Operator: blouse LARGE...skirt, EXTRA LARGE
CUSTOMER; Do You mind? It;s not necessary to tell everyne in the store what size clothes I wear
Till Operator: Allow me to do my job please
Customer. You loud mouth. You should be working at a fish stall on the sidewalk
TWO GIRLS WOLF WHISTLE AT MALE SHOPPER. HIS GIRLFRIEND SHOW THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER
TILL OPERATOR:
that will be $325 pleaase.
SHOPPER:
You can take them back. I don't need them anymore
What?
What's the point of buying them when they willnot fit me in a few months time
You plan to lose some weight
No. I plan to put on some weight
Shopper: (tries on scarf)
(to other shopper) what's your name?
Shopper:
Hart
My name is Anna. Nice to meet you Hart. (chuckles) Don't you think I look royal in this scarf?
Hart:
Pardon?
Anna:
Never mind
AT TILL
Anna:
Do you think that dress I bought last monday was too small for me?
Mark:
I do not remember what you bought last saturday
ANNA GOING BANANAS
Anna:
How can you NOT remember. I'm a REGULAR customer here. You said I was special....
Mark:
...I'm sorry but I can't remember what our customers purchase, especially after several days.
Anna:
USELESS! I should take my custom elsewhere...(scurries away to the skirt section, forgets her phone at the till, till operator looks at it, then at her, and frowns)
Anna:
(Hart) What do you think I could pair this skirt with?
Hart:
a round neck t shirt, maybe
Anna:
What about this scarf?
Hart:
Yea, that could work as well
Anna:
Are you sure?
Hart:
NO! Ask the shop assistant for help. I'm trying to do some shopping, if you don't mind.
ANNA MARCHES IN A FIT TO THE FITTING ROOM WITH SKIRT
SHOP ASSISTANT: (mutters to Mark)
That woman is a DAMN nightmare
Mark:
I know. That's why the others hide whenever she is here. The next time, you wont see me until she has left. i swear.
I know she spends alot more than our average customers, but we have to work TOO hard for it. UGH!
ANNA PHONE RINGS
ANNA RUNS OUT ON SHOP FLOOR IN HER UNDERWEAR, PICKS UP THE PHONE THEN DISSAPEARS IN FITTING ROOM
HORRIFIED LOOKS, SUPPRESSED GIGGLES FROM HUNDREDS OF CUSTOMERS AND SCORES OF WORKERS
FEW MINUTES LATER
Anna: (pokes head through fitting room curtains)
Can you do up my zipper please?
Brooke:
Sure
Anna:
So how's your sex life?
Brooke:
What?
Anna:
You heard me.
AT TILL, Brooke PLACES SKIRT AND SCARF IN BAG.
Anna:
Can you put them in another bag please?
Brooke:
We have no other bags, I'm afraid. What's the matter?
Anna:
Can't you see the image of a man and a woman kissing on it. I CAN'T BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH THAT.
................................................................................................
Pedestrian: (skipping with joy, slips on slippery sidewalk)
I passed my driving lessons. YESS!
Danica:
Finally. Well done! Everyone better stay the hell of the sidewalk now.
GIGGLES
ALL MY SECRETS by ONEREPUBLIC, POURS FROM THE STORE'S CEILING. Peter wanders around in quest for his newly inspired pieces.
Cassidy:
Excuse me. do you have any evening dresses?
WALSH:
Sorry. I do not work here! I'm just waiting on my friend who is returning a Stone Roses t-shirt she bought today.
Cassidy:
Sorry to bother you then
WALSH:
It's not a problem. Sorry if i sound a little irritated. your'e the second person to mistook me for a shop assistant.
Cassidy:
Sorry. I understand.
WALSH:
Try customer service
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
So what will you be giving up for lent?
Shopping.
Shopping? I thought you enjoy spending time with me
I do! But.. I will not have any money left if I continue like this
...Who cares?...you have to treat yourself. You work hard.
I know. I need to stop over do it. I work hard but I do not earn enough...This scarf. I don't need it. But the moment I saw it, I felt I had to buy it. So I did. UGH! You have a great job so you can spend as you please.
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
I like the clothes here in Forever 21
Grand dad, lets go! (frog march grand dad out the exit)
FOCUS SWITCHES TO....
....that's the most exciting news from London fashion Week!
This is madness, why would Sophia Cahill do a thing like that
I don't know. Why would the designer let a pregnant model strutt her stuff.... her stuff on the catwalk wearing only a hat?
Well, he admitted he just wanted to create a hype
How creative! What a way to make a fashion statement?
What is the fashion world coming to
You call that fashion
That's passion. Thumbs up! I guess modelling naked is the new...
The new what?
I Don't know...thing?
Sophia's naked ambition
She is brave, that's all I know
Hats off to her.
LAUGHTER
I guess anyone could be that brave if he/she has little or no fat and little or no cellulite
True
Not me
Well, Your'e not exactly model material, are you?
LAUGHTER
Whatever! I just don't think ANYONE has the right to walk naked on the catwalk. What's the point of that. Models are supposed to be showcasing fashion, not pregnancy, not nakedness.
Calm down. You must learn to appreciate art.
Art? Don't get me started, I'm warning you!
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
so how much you planning to spend in here
200 pounds
200 pounds? In primark?..That will be a record for a single shopper.are you planning to buy the whole store
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....
That's a good look
I'm not sure
Honey, you said the same thing when I suggested leather clothing to you. Now I just can't get you out of them
True. But I'm afraid, your'e gonna find it hard to convince me that a flowery tie suits me. NO WAY!
All Your friends wear ties.
they would all laugh at me if they see me in one though, especially this one
Your friends are weired. The problem with you, is you're eager to gp shopping but you never know what you want and when I try to help, you just don't listen. What's the point?
Are you sure it looks good?
it makes you look HOTTER
I'm not sure.. about leaving without it
FOCUS SWITCHES TO.....
I like the look
Will you have it?
No. It did not fit...But I'll have this.
what's that?
A condom. I found it in the dressing room
You're so lucky
FOCUS WITCHES TO.....sound of alarm
Shopper runs out off dressing room half naked. KIDS SCREAM
Shop Assistant: Please stay where you are. THIS IS JUST A ROUTINE TEST
Peter falls in love....with a flirtatious,slice of skin-revealing sweater. On his way to the till with it, he picks up a denim trousers to pair it with.
APPROACHES TILL WITH SWEATER
SHOP ASSISTANT:
WHy don't you try on the sweater?
PETER:
Can't be bothered. Too many people queueing up for the dressing room. Think I wasted too much time already wandering around the store in search of this inspired look. It should be fine though
You sure?
TILL OPERATOR SHOUTS OUT THE SIZES FOR EACH PIECE OF CLOTHING
Till Operator: blouse LARGE...skirt, EXTRA LARGE
CUSTOMER; Do You mind? It;s not necessary to tell everyne in the store what size clothes I wear
Till Operator: Allow me to do my job please
Customer. You loud mouth. You should be working at a fish stall on the sidewalk
TWO GIRLS WOLF WHISTLE AT MALE SHOPPER. HIS GIRLFRIEND SHOW THEM THE MIDDLE FINGER
TILL OPERATOR:
that will be $325 pleaase.
SHOPPER:
You can take them back. I don't need them anymore
What?
What's the point of buying them when they willnot fit me in a few months time
You plan to lose some weight
No. I plan to put on some weight
Shopper: (tries on scarf)
(to other shopper) what's your name?
Shopper:
Hart
My name is Anna. Nice to meet you Hart. (chuckles) Don't you think I look royal in this scarf?
Hart:
Pardon?
Anna:
Never mind
AT TILL
Anna:
Do you think that dress I bought last monday was too small for me?
Mark:
I do not remember what you bought last saturday
ANNA GOING BANANAS
Anna:
How can you NOT remember. I'm a REGULAR customer here. You said I was special....
Mark:
...I'm sorry but I can't remember what our customers purchase, especially after several days.
Anna:
USELESS! I should take my custom elsewhere...(scurries away to the skirt section, forgets her phone at the till, till operator looks at it, then at her, and frowns)
Anna:
(Hart) What do you think I could pair this skirt with?
Hart:
a round neck t shirt, maybe
Anna:
What about this scarf?
Hart:
Yea, that could work as well
Anna:
Are you sure?
Hart:
NO! Ask the shop assistant for help. I'm trying to do some shopping, if you don't mind.
ANNA MARCHES IN A FIT TO THE FITTING ROOM WITH SKIRT
SHOP ASSISTANT: (mutters to Mark)
That woman is a DAMN nightmare
Mark:
I know. That's why the others hide whenever she is here. The next time, you wont see me until she has left. i swear.
I know she spends alot more than our average customers, but we have to work TOO hard for it. UGH!
ANNA PHONE RINGS
ANNA RUNS OUT ON SHOP FLOOR IN HER UNDERWEAR, PICKS UP THE PHONE THEN DISSAPEARS IN FITTING ROOM
HORRIFIED LOOKS, SUPPRESSED GIGGLES FROM HUNDREDS OF CUSTOMERS AND SCORES OF WORKERS
FEW MINUTES LATER
Anna: (pokes head through fitting room curtains)
Can you do up my zipper please?
Brooke:
Sure
Anna:
So how's your sex life?
Brooke:
What?
Anna:
You heard me.
AT TILL, Brooke PLACES SKIRT AND SCARF IN BAG.
Anna:
Can you put them in another bag please?
Brooke:
We have no other bags, I'm afraid. What's the matter?
Anna:
Can't you see the image of a man and a woman kissing on it. I CAN'T BE SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH THAT.
................................................................................................
SIDEWALK LOOKS and SIDEWALK THEATRE http://www.facebook.com/allthatRAGE
SIDEWALK THEATRE http://allthatrageseries.blogspot.com/ |
Thursday, 16 February 2012
red and black fashion
BOYS honk car horn at drop-dead gorgeous Randy sashaying down the sidewalk as if she owns it. Lloyd looks instantly inspired by her iridescent attire; black cigarette trousers teamed with a slim belt and candy floss pink blouse. Clearly, she's not just a doddery fashionista.
The mesmerized boys drive straight into the back of a police car. Lloyd burst into laughter.
SHOCK GASPS FROM ONLOOKERS.
Randy chuckles as police remonstrate with the driver of the car. She seems fun as well, Lloyd thinks.
LLOYD ACCOSTS THE FASHIONISTA
LLOYD:
OH MY GOSH! I Like your look.
Randy: (giggles)
LOOKS run in my family
LLOYD: (laughs)
I wish I was fast enough to catch it...Actually, I'm referring to your clothes; YOU ambassador for chic sidewalk looks. You are ready for both London fashion Week and Paris Fashion Week
Randy:
Oh! You like my look? That is sweet, thanks. It came out of the blue...Please don't copy it. I don't want us to be seen on the sidewalk wearing the same outfit. People might think I copy your style. Ugh!
LLOYD:
Sorry.
Randy:
It will be embarrassing for you, NOT ME! (stamps off) Get some originality, you copy cat! I hate when someone copy what i wear. UGH!
DISAPPROVING GROANS FROM PASSER-BYS
LLOYD:
To hell with individuality. I don't care about being different. if you have NEVER recreated someone else's style on the sidewalk, then you have every right to judge me. Otherwise go about your business, and stop staring at me. GRRR!
He dashes off to the nearest shopping mall.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)