Sidewalk Darlings

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Men's Fashion Week

WALKING dapifer of style and perrenial follower of fashion, Reshuffle, was looking forward to the inauguration of London Collection: Men. However, one little, rather big, annoyance stood in his way; a protruding belly: UGH! No way could he afford to miss London's very first Mens' fashion Week. His chums on sidewalk bench respond to his SOS..

Instead of walking in Mens' Fashion Week, Reshuffle almost walk past the event's venue. He wore Gap Vest, TopMan T Shirt, Esprit denim shorts, All Stars converse and, er, spandex from....

RESHUFFLE:

CHUMS! I MUST get rid of these love handles...Who will rescue me with a spandex for men tank top, I can't go to Mens fashion Week, looking like an OAF

MICHELLE
Count me out. You love eating too much, now you are looking for the easiest way out. How lazy!

RESHUFFLE:
Well, I tried cutting back on how much I eat and excercise, a little more, but NOTHING is working so far. And time is running out. UGH!

MICHAEL:
You left it a little late, I'm afraid. It takes time to see any meaningful results. Otherwise, attend the event with your paunch. Just let it OUT chum! Hardly anyone will notice it.

MICHELLE:
Well, You got to do, what you got to do. I could lend you my whale bone corset. It works but you may find it difficult to breathe though.

RESHUFFLE:
Thanks! NO offence, but you need it as much as I do

MICHELLE:
Excuse me!

MICHAEL
It's the truth though.

  RESHUFFLE:
It's my fault. I had months to prepare for Mens' Fashion Week, but I didn't do a darn thing but stuff myself with food. Ugh!

MICHAEL
You drank alot as well

  RESHUFFLE:
That's it! Only a liquid diet could prepare me in this short space of time. No Solid food.

MICHELLE
I make good kale soup

MICHAEL
Once you had my smoothies, you will want it forever.

  RESHUFFLE:
Thanks chums. I'll Stop Panicking!

...................................................................................

RESHUFFLE wore a spandex to Mens' Fashion Week, no one had to know. He was ready for the show. No backstage passes or drink vouchers. Nevertheless, he and his stylish sidewalk chums were excited to be there, They couldn't wait to peek at the fabulous collections.

MICHELLE

Dapper! Just Beautiful. The spandex is working miracles for you, chum.

RESHUFFLE:

Only at Men's Fashion baby.

................................................................................................................

Hundreds of ticket-holders gathered on the sidewalk. As they slowly filed into the building, Reshuffle distinguished himself as an eminent Sidewalk Presenter, so they willingly volunteered their names and answer his piercing questions.


                           PICKLER
Honoured to be the Photographer's assistant. Not getting paid, but that's fine.

RESHUFFLE
And you?

                          BOB
Runway Assistant...I'll be covering backstage beauty. I'm a key figure in the nail team....This might sound cliched to you, but I'm living the dream...from the sidewalk bench to working backstage of London'd first Mens Fashion Week...Behind the scene, that's where it's at.....

RESHUFFLE
....And you?

ELISHA
I'm the photographer. Joking. I'll just be floating around...picking up little stories..Full Access has been authorized for me; backstage, front row, runway,etc. I'm doing the coverage for a SIDEWALK magazine. My first time.

RESHUFFLE
I am super elated to be here, anyone else?

GINA
(excitedly)
ME! I'd be pissed if I was unable to make it today. The British Fashion Council DESERVES thumbs up for dedicating a fashion week just for men.

..............................................................................
BACKSTAGE

It felt like summer backstage; the posing models were HOT and, er, SUPER skinny.

MICHAEL
(chuckles)
No doubt some of the best looks here are the models themselves

MICHELLE
No doubt man! The Models are my favourite looks. It's a pity Mens' Fashion Week lasts only 3 days. UGH!

RESHUFFLE:
Wait a minute! Is that Chace Crawford?

Where?

(Points)
There

Oh. Who is this Chace Crawford?

              RESHUFFLE
Never mind!

Is it true that Prince Charles will be here

Who told you that

No One. I read it in the Metro and Evening Standard

..............................................................................................

The curtain came down on London Collection: Men with the Looking Glass's Brandy, You're a Fine Girl. Reshuffle mouthed the lyrics while waiting for his chums to emerge from the toilets. From out of nowhere Pippa appeared.

                                  PIPPA
This is the third fashion event I'm spotting you at, WHO are you?....

                                  RESHUFFLE
  ....and if you planning to be at London Fashion Week in September, it will be the FOURTH

                                 PIPPA
I'm looking forward to the Burberry Show, so see you there. By the way, will you be at the inauguration party?

RESHUFFLE
I haven't had any invitation as yet. But in the meantime, I need to cut down from a size 14 jeans to a size 10. Then I'll be ready for whatever....
...................................................................................

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Sunday, 5 August 2012

Africa fashion Week London

AFTER walking a marathon on the sidewalk, empiricist pedestrian, Ennis, coercively extricate himself from the tedium of the olympics, on TV, to walk in "Africa" Fashion "Week", being held on the "3rd and 4th" of August, in "London." Moore than 50 deep-rooted designers, such as Lagerfield, sorry, no Lagerfield, and emerging ones, will showcase their prim collections.

ENNIS walks at event in Topman T shirt, Zara shorts and belt from Esprit

[EARLIER, ENNIS LOOKED FOR AN OUTFIT IN PRIMARK TO WEAR TO LONDON'S BIGGEST EVER AFRICAN FASHION EVENT.]

Till Operator: (to couple)

Would you like a bag?

POSH:

No thanks, we have our own bag. (customers in queue gasped as she took out a SELFRIDGES' bag.

Irate Customer:

That's out of order!

POSH:

I'd die if other pedestrians see me on the sidewalk with a damn Primark bag. Ugh!

Her partner nodded in agreement, "she would.!

But you are wearing Primark clothes now

If it were'nt for Primark, you'd be NAKED now

POSH:

You'll be astonished at the stupendous number of looks you get for carrying a primark bag on the sidewalk.

I think you are far too posh for Primark, so if I were you I'd get the hell out. NOW!

.....................................................................

NEW LOCH:

Where will the show be held? In SPitalfield market, near Liverpool street?

ENNIS:(in disgust)

Who told you? Yes!

New Loch:

I'll be there then.

You know this is a once a year event, so who will you be taking with you, your girlfriend?

Who told you? Yes! Joking, I'll take my mother. She's into current trends

That's lovely.

So how did you hear about Africa Fashion week

In Metro

Ahhh! Shame.

And you?

ENNIS:

Through my sidewalk fashion network

...................................

Shortly after patrons arrived, Ennis could hardly find anywhere to stand, let alone, walk

Ennis overheard a disgruntled patron muttering about paying £7 for his ticket but was unable to get a guaranteed seat. Seats were reserved for VIPs and industry bigwigs . He stormed out expeditiously, ranting.

FIELD:(on blackberry)

I miss you too, but I can't leave now. The show is about to start. I'll catch the first available flight later.

[Listened]

Field: I saw Blake backstage....I could'nt believe it....No, I did'nt get the chance to greet him though. He was quite busy working. I can tell his debut will be a success.

[listened]

Field: Don't feel bad about missing the show. You did the right thing in concentrating and doing what you had to do before sunset for sabbath hour.

............................................................

Ennis could not resist this bewitching pair of hoops on the Afrocessories stall.

....................................................................

When the Presenter introduced Adebayo Jones, instead of saying 'Adebayo is known for dressing some of the world's top celebrities', he said, 'Adebayo is known for dressing some of the world's top designers.'

The audience erupted.

..............................

Pippa stretched and yawned throughout the female models' presentation. However, she perked up when the first male model came out, "TAKE IT OFF." (referring to his shirt)

.....................................................................................................

REPORTER:

You were on intern for the show, how was the experience?

TRACK:

Awesome! Excited to see the stuffs, sorry, the collections.....The team work very hard to make the show a success. I look forward to be a part of it next year. I invited my friend Oscar, and he enjoyed the show a great deal, tell her Oscar.

OSCAR:

What an amazing show! It was wonderful to see african fashion on London's catwalks. I loved it. When the show ended, I just wanted to see more. A great turn-out, and I'm sure next will be even greater.

Oscar attracted alot of media attention. "Africa Is The Future" was emblazoned on his T shirt.

..................................

photographs by Miss Cheap Broadband

..............................................

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Saturday, 4 August 2012

Africa Fashion Week London

AFTER walking a marathon on the sidewalk, empiricist pedestrian, Ennis, coercively extricate himself from the tedium of the olympics, on TV, to walk in "Africa" Fashion "Week", being held on the "3rd and 4th" of August, in "London." Moore than 50 deep-rooted designers, such as Lagerfield, and emerging ones, will showcase their prim collections.

ENNIS walks at event in Topman T shirt, Zara shorts and belt from Esprit

[EARLIER, ENNIS LOOKED FOR AN OUTFIT IN PRIMARK TO WEAR TO LONDON'S BIGGEST EVER AFRICAN FASHION EVENT.]

Till Operator: (to couple)

Would you like a bag?

POSH:

No thanks, we have our own bag. (customers in queue gasped as she took out a SELFRIDGES' bag.

Irate Customer:

That's out of order!

POSH:

I'd die if other pedestrians see me on the sidewalk with a damn Primark bag. Ugh!

Her partner nodded in agreement, "she would.!

But you are wearing Primark clothes now

If it were'nt for Primark, you'd be NAKED now

POSH:

You'll be astonished at the stupendous number of looks you get for carrying a primark bag on the sidewalk.

I think you are far too posh for Primark, so if I were you I'd get the hell out. NOW!

.....................................................................

NEW LOCH:

Where will the show be held? In SPitalfield market, near Liverpool street?

ENNIS:(in disgust)

Who told you? Yes!

New Loch:

I'll be there then.

You know this is a once a year event, so who will you be taking with you, your girlfriend?

Who told you? Yes! Joking, I'll take my mother. She's into current trends

That's lovely.

So how did you hear about Africa Fashion week

In Metro

Ahhh! Shame.

And you?

ENNIS:

Overheard random strangers talking about it on the sidewalk bench

...................................

Shortly after patrons arrived, Ennis could hardly find anywhere to stand, let alone, walk

Ennis overheard a disgruntled patron muttering about paying £7 for his ticket but was unable to get a seat, which were reserved for VIPs. He marched out, ranting.

FIELD:(on blackberry)

I miss you too, but I can't leave now. The show is about to start. I'll catch the first available flight later.

[Listened]

Field: I saw Blake backstage....I could'nt believe it....No, I did'nt get the chance to greet him though. He was quite busy working. I can tell his debut will be a success.

[listened]

Field: Don't feel bad about missing the show. You did the right thing in concentrating and doing what you had to do before sunset for sabbath hour.

............................................................

Ennis could not resist this bewitching pair of hoops on the Afrocessories stall.

....................................................................

When the Presenter introduced Adebayo Jones, instead of saying 'Adebayo is known for dressing some of the world's top celebrities', he said, 'Adebayo is known for dressing some of the world's top designers.'

The audience erupted.

..............................

Pippa stretched and yawned throughout the female models' presentation. However, she perked up when the first male model came out, "TAKE IT OFF." (referring to his shirt)

.....................................................................................................

REPORTER:

You were on intern for the show, how was the experience?

TRACK:

Awesome! Excited to see the stuffs, sorry, the collections.....The team work very hard to make the show a success. I look forward to be a part of it next year. I invited my friend Oscar, and he enjoyed the show a great deal, tell her Oscar.

OSCAR:

Oscar attracted alot of media attention. "Africa Is The Future" was emblazoned on his T shirt.
..................................

photographs by Miss Cheap Broadband

..............................................

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Thursday, 21 June 2012

Graduate Fashion Week

Graduate Fashion Week was awash with talent scouts, style hunters, fashion virtuosos and, er, the pulchritudinous fashion event gatecrasher, Sandusky. His supercilious sidewalk chums, Summer Solstic and Maleficent, were instantly won overe when he handed them free tickets to the event.

Sandusky strutting towards entrance in FCUK shirt, Zara boots and Reebok track suit bottom

Zealous sidewalk style snappers made sure they captured the chums' outfits on the sidewalk facing Earl's Court Exhibition Center.

Thanks to June Sale, Sandusky's sidewalk chums are looking unusually dapper

Sandusky:

I thought only vehicles were subjected to searches

SECURITY, Berry:

well, you thought WRONG. We also search every PEDESTRIAN who enters the Center. And Another thing, NO PHOTOGRAPHY inside the Building

Sandusky:

It's quite sad you forbid us from taking pictures. What's the point?

Security:

Well, you can take as many photographs as you like....here on the sidewalk..

MaleFicent:

It's a shame! I was gonna take lots of pictures. UGH!

Nevertheless, they entered the center in high spirits. The sounds of melodic violins lingered in the background. Also immediately noticeable was ELLE (selling summer edition) and The Great Menagerie, a pop up vintage and art shop.

Sandusky and Fitness sashayed to the entrance. Guess who won.

Maleficent:

How did we end up at the front row at Graduate Fashion Week's show?

Sandusky:

Duh! We're at the front row to the cafe, not the catwalk show.

Summer Solstic: (excitedly)

It will be a whole lotta FUN...today is your birthday, remember?

Maleficent:

Oh yeah! Fantastic...Beautiful day indeed. shame if I miss it

Maleficent:

So what collections do you like the most, so far, Sandusky?

Sandusky:

East London and central saint martins, of course.

Maleficent:

Powerhouses of talents.

Summer Solstic:

What time will Northbrook College present its collection?

Sandusky:

I don't know. Ask one of the officials over there. Ugh!

Prince:

We ran out of orange juice, I'm afraid. We have coke though.

Maleficent:

No way.

Prince:

You'd have to use a microscope to see its caloric content

Maleficent:

I'm allergic to coke, thanks. May I have a coffee please

Sandusky's predilection for on the spot inspiration, led him, and the others, to the bloggers' bar. Few minutes later, he started his write up. The left when it was time for Manchester school of Art to parade it's collection.

Look at these lovely knits and prints

So on trend. They are hot this season

These student designers clearly has the talent to be the future of the fashion industry

Everyone became euphoric as University of Martyn Roberts showcased its creations.