Men's Fashion Week: Day 1

The FASHION pack, especially men who have designs on more than one important thing on their minds, turned up for the second showcase of London Collection: MEN, aka Men's Fashion Week.  Last year's inaugural presentation was UBER bad-ass. No wonder, the fashion-vivacious Zokaya, dragged his two sidewalk duds, camera-shy sidewalk photographers Kristen and Kate,  from off the FLIPPING sidewalk bench, to arguably, the greatest show on earth. Not quite. London Fashion Week, the show's female counterpart, already has the hegemony.

hio

Let's hear it for the boys- Boys to Men's    Fashion Week. Their badass garbs are affordably available on Mr Porer website.

Zokaya's badass outfit - Blue Inc trousers, John Partridge coat, Blue Inc neon green scarf and Urban Outfitters boots

PHOTOGRAPHER Natalie

Natalie here from Mr Porter, do you mind if I take a photo of your coat?

Zokaya

It's okay. Go ahead.

MATT

May I take a picture of your coat for my website?

Zokaya

Why not?

Before, Lou Dalton kicked of the event at The Hospital Club: Show Space, the fashion pack queued at reception for their passes and other official necessities. A lively debate, SARTORIAL debate ensued among Zokaya, his sidewalk duds and new friends from Catworld, Slim&Fit, Cuteberry, Yeswalker, Smoothie, Buden Akindo, NORANGGOMUSIN, Tokyo Fashion.

RECEPTIONIST Miley (berating the hapless couple at front of queue)

 If you're a serious fashionista, you should know that you MUST register before you can register, I mean BEFORE you can PARTICIPATE at Men's Fashion Week


Novak

We didn't know. We only look at the schedule. Nothing else. Can I register now please


MILEY

You should be in this queue ONLY if you had registered BEFORE. You should know that you cannot register when you feel like. Everyone MUST register BEFORE the day the event starts. NOT after. So I'm afraid, it's too late. See you next year...


JENNIFER

Please! Give us a chance. We'll register next time.


MILEY

You are holding up the queue. These hundreds of fashion lovers are waiting to see the show. It's not about you this time. GET OVER YOURSELF! These designers, producers, fashion editors, buyers, photographers and, er, bloggers don't have the time to waste.


NOVAK

Okay then, can we access other areas of the building where the shows are not taking place?


MILEY

I'm afraid not. You'll have to leave the foyer. But you are free to hang out on the sidewalk at the front of the building.

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LIBERTY
(approaching Nicole from behind)

I recognise those boots from across the room


NICOLE
(spun around instantly)

Take of those glasses! The show is still on, where are you rushing to?


LIBERTY

I'm just gonna check on the guys at Fashion |East..I will be back later.


Nicole

I'll be here. I will be auditing a few shoes, sorry, shows, in the afternoon.


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The sound track Thank You by Jim Stanton indicated the start of future fashion star, Lou Dalton's presentation. Being the first to showcase must have been nerve-wracking. Suffice it to say, she did it in COLOUR. Topman followed suit.

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Men's Fashion Week - Day 3

SUPERMODEL David Gandy and the ubiquitous sidewalk darling, Zokaya Kamara, ignited sartorial history when their subliminally handsome, and uber good-looking outfits, not only rubbed shoulders, but were also photographed together. Needless to say, this was the ultimate sartorial coup for sidewalk looks. Wow!

David wears (I guess)  Lanvin two piece suit, £1800,  Armani  single breasted coat,  £989,  Georgio Armani  Tuxedo shirt, £289,  Polo Ralph Lauren Silk tie £85, Magnanni shoes, £345,  Alexander Mcqueen socks, £50

David Gandy needs no introduction. His dapper style is still gracing catwalks the world over. On the other hand, Zokaya Kamara is very evangelistic about sidewalk looks. He's the undisputed purveyor of chic sidewalk looks.


[I know. I know I'm yet to speak about London Fashion Week - Day 5 and Day 1 and Day 2 of Men's Fashion Week. I will get back to those. I promise. We are just TOO euphoric about the coup Zokaya and his sidewalk duds pulled off on the final day of Men's Fashion Week, we have to speak about it FIRST, not last.]


Anyway, at the end of Christopher Raeburn's catwalk show at the Hospital Club, Zokaya noisily raced to the front of the fashion pack as they headed outside - to the sidewalk. Kate and Kristen like watching shows but they are more thrilled snapping show goers on the sidewalk. They might watch a few of the shows at London Fashion Week in February. MIGHT.

Anyway, on the outside, Zokaya spotted David Gandy speaking to two other fashion guys. A picture of David's exquisite suit would be nice, he thought. Kristen and Kate, being the snappers in the trio, made the approach. David was so super cool; he followed the sidewalk duds to a designated spot on the sidewalk for the photographs. David looked pretty excited.


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KRISTEN:

Very dapper David. Just look at the lens. The lens love you - in and out of your clothes.


[David smiled]


ONLOOKER

David, can I have you for my valentine?

.............................................................................

KATE

Welcome to the sidewalk, David. That's the look of a proper sidewalk darling. Keep it that way. That's the way to walk the sidewalk.
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KRISTEN

Now strike a pose.

DAVID

Okay. This feels like a photo shoot.

KATE

It IS a photo shoot. We did not plan for it, but it's going well...You are gonna love the shots

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Zokaya Kamara wears; Zara blazer, £59, (Hawaiian shirt given to him by  a  friendly pedestrian),  H  & M  jeans,  £25,   River Island bag, £15, Esprit boots, £65

ONLOOKER

Such dapper outfits



PASSERBY

I'll be obsessed with these chic looks



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KRISTEN

What the hell is he wearing? Why did I let you two encourage me to come inside and see this show. I could be outside snapping show goers lovely outfits, NOT THIS

Zokaya Kamara

Shut up. You are a photographer, for heaven sake, you should be happy to snap boundary-breaking fashion like this.


KATE
(teased)

Zokaya, I'll buy you one of those WOOD coats for your birthday


Zokaya Kamara

 Can I get it any earlier. Yes please.


KRISTEN

You'd look ridiculous... I'd be happy to snap you in it though...I can guess what the next model will be wearing...a rubbish bag


KATE

A bin bag? He'd look better naked, I'm sure.

KRISTEN

You have zero fashion sense, what do you know about looking better naked?

KATE

I have GREAT dress sense, thank you.

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KRISTEN

Get me out of this show, please. This is a FARCE.

Zokaya Kamara

Calm down, Kristen..Do you girls remember when Kanye West pranced on stage in a Givenchy leather skirt and MEGGINGS. That might have been the source of J W Anderson's inspiration to make these ETHEREAL outfits. I love them.

KRISTEN

Yes. It was at his Madison Square Garden's concert. I was so surprised to see that...

KATE

...SURPRISED? I'm shocked to see these creations on the runway today. Men wearing dresses? I don't think so.


MALE SHOW GOER

I don't know how men wear skirts, legging, dresses. I can't do that. It's not in my DNA at all. NO WAY! I'd like to know what is happening in the designers' heads when they decide to create pieces like these.


[KRISTEN shook her head]


Zokaya Kamara

He's just being fashion-forward, breaking boundaries, trying new things...that's what keep them ahead, give them a edge, and of course, get people talking about their creations...


PAUL

The designer is BOLD, and the guys who model the clothes are uber hot. I wouldn't model these clothes. But I respect them for doing it. It's their jobs. That's how they get paid. So we can't knock them for that. In fact, I love these creations.


KATE

Maybe these models had to lose their beer bellies in preparation for this show, so they could get into the dresses.


                              THOUGHTS OF THE MODELS AS THE WALK THE RUNWAY

"Good Lord, I wonder if the front row is seeing my bulge in this strapless dress


...I hope my testicles are not on display in this skirt? ....


....Even the sidewalk darlings on the back row must be seeing my manhood in this this clingy fabric?


....I hope my friends are not watching the show



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[This outfit left the sidewalk duds speechless.]

KRISTEN
(laughter)

What the heck! Is this a joke or something? I don't get this odd outfit at all. I don't understand it. In fact, I'm confused.


KATE

Very estrange, sorry, STRANGE. This reminds me of the outfits in Ben Stiller's Zoolander.

Zokaya Kamara

Going to the extreme, I suppose. That's the very essence of fashion.
 

FASHION GUY


(scoffs, rants) You call THAT fashion? Who the hell create Men's Fashion Week? These are not fashion. They can go to hell. Anyone could make better clothes than these, even my grand mother.


[London Collection: Men, was a big bang, a splash and a wave that will return, even bigger and better.]

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London Fashion Week, Day 4

ADAM was the media darling at London Fashion Week. Fogyish fashionistas thought his outfit was ridiculous but fashion editors and photographers loved him. Moral of the story, never dress in clothes Adam would never wear. He was born that way. Shall I spear you the details? Fake hair, fake teeth, fake tan, lots of botox, maybe plastic surgery.(KIDDING)

Teaming a badass River Island loose fit dungaree with a cool French Connection print shirt and All Star converse. Justin! What a character!

JUSTIN

Adam's leather trouser's crotch look like it has a full load of excrement. He's a regular on the sidewalk but I have never seen him wearing in anything like this outfit...What a fashion statement. He must keep this look.


KATE

A fashion statement not to be missed...I love the Mc Hammer-inspired trousers and the technicolour walking stick. (quips) HAMMER TIME!



[Lots of mutterings in the background about the eagerly anticipated London Fashion Week, Harry Styles bagging front row seats when it should be them]



KRISTEN

Why on earth has Adam adopted this strange look?


[Watching him posing for pictures in them was even funnier. There were lots of other attractions in the queue but all eyes were on Adam. No one dared to look elsewhere.]

MALE

I just prefer jeans and t-shirts and...


KATE

....PYJAMAS! I have seen you on the sidewalk in pyjamas..


MALE

TRUE But that's a better fashion statement than Adam's embarrasingly DISGUSTING leather Mc Hammer trousers.


JUSTIN

He looks more comfortable though.


[Because Adam's stick is so colourful, photographers are eager to snap him with it, despite his constant protests]


Photographer

Hello. We are from Shortlist magazine, is it okay to take a picture of your outfit?

ADAM

Sure! Just let me hide this.....


[CAMERA FLASHES]


ADAM

Couldnt you wait until I hide the damn stick. I don't want to appear in fashion magazines with a stick. UGH!

PHOTOGRAPHER

Sorry!

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[ During Jayne Pierson's show]




JUSTIN
(gushes)

That's a risque bow tie top. It's the best. It's beautiful..I adore it.


KRISTEN

I have to snap this one.


KATE

It's nicely teamed with that Zara Woman skirt


JUSTIN

It would be better teamed with a velvet bow tie, velvet double-breasted jacket, tuxedo skirt and black patent leather shoes...Get your cameras ready duds. Grace Dol and the rest of the STORM crew is heading towards us. Oh, Christian Blanken is with them as well.



[Adam passes first. Snappers take photos rapidly.]


ADAM

Damn! If you are not gonna ask for my permission to photograph me, you could atleast ask permission to photograph my stick.UGH!


KATE

Poor Adam. If they love the stick so much, he should position it by itself so they can take as many pictures of it, then they can take pictures of him - without it.


JUSTIN

That's nonsense. The stick is a part of his look

                                                     comment please!
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KRISTEN
(roll eyes)

Adam must have had a drink before putting on those plastic doll, attention-whore clothes. Where the HELL is his mother when she needs him. Ugh!


ONLOOKER

There's better clothes out there for him. Look! He's still having luck with the ladies' telephone numbers.


JUSTIN

For heavensake, leave the man's outfit alone. This is London Fashion Week, NOT your everyday fashion event. it would be POINTLESS dressing up like this for a LESSER event...This outfit is perfect for this event. Besides, he's thoroughly enjoying himself. He's a lovable character.



DIETING ADVICE MAN

It disgust me that some people are blind to the fun in all this. Your'e all just jealous. He's happy and you are obviously NOT. Fashion hater! Get over yourselves.


KRISTEN

Shut up! I dont know what these journalists and photographers see in him. Waste of air time....Can we have the old minimalist Adam back please? He's clearly trying to channel Kim Kardashian...


KATE

...CHALLENGE, not channel


LAUGHTER

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ADAM

(to photographer who snaps him the most)

May I see the pictures you took of me?


PHOTOGRAPHER

No problem. Come and have a look


10 MINUTES LATER


ADAM
(rants)

What the hell! You snapped me even when I was trying to get the damn stick out of the picture. These are not photographs of ME! They are photographs of the STICK and me. UGH!

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